


KoS Tumblr Compilation

by wafflesandkruge



Category: Nikolai Series - Leigh Bardugo, The Grisha Trilogy - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Actor AU, Angst, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Modern AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-19
Updated: 2019-09-05
Packaged: 2019-10-31 12:23:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 49
Words: 20,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17849414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wafflesandkruge/pseuds/wafflesandkruge
Summary: Compilation of all my King of Scars writings from Tumblr that aren't full-fledged fics





	1. Zoyalai First Meeting

Tumblr prompt: "Are you still taking Zoyalai prompts? If so, could you write about the first time they met?"

  * They first meet when he is Sturmhond and she is the Darkling’s favorite
  * Zoya runs into him when she’s visiting the King as a member of the Darkling’s delegation and he’s just exiting the throne room
  * She just huffs and sweeps away, but Nikolai waits outside until she’s done and asks her to join him for dinner as an apology
  * She looks to the Darkling, but he is distracted and brushes her off
  * So she accepts, thinking it would cause the Darkling to notice her absence
  * Nikolai goes the whole nine yards. They dine on the balcony on his room while a string quartet discreetly plays under them
  * Nikolai’s still playing the role of Sturmhond, so he smirks rakishly
  * “Why is it that a girl as pretty as yourself wasn’t scared of entering a stranger’s chambers?”
  * Zoya’s annoyed expression doesn’t change as she snaps her fingers and a strong gust of wind ruins Nikolai’s carefully styled hair
  * “That’s why.”
  * She’s pretty quiet throughout the entire meal so Nikolai fills the silence with tales of his harrowing adventures on the seas
  * She just sits and sips wine, but Nikolai is sure he saw her flash a smile as he told her about the time he accidentally fell off his own ship
  * After dessert, Zoya announces she’s too tired to walk back to the Little Palace and that she’s staying the night
  * She doesn’t let Nikolai touch her kefta though and takes it off herself before carefully draping it over the back of a chair
  * In the morning, Nikolai wakes up to an empty bed with no signs that Zoya had been there at all
  * All thoughts of the dashing Sturmhond are forgotten by Zoya as she has to deal with Alina stealing the Darkling’s favor
  * Nikolai knows it’s foolish to pine over her and tries his best to forget
  * When they meet again, Zoya doesn’t recognize Nikolai with his true appearance, but there’s something about him that she just can’t put her finger on
  * Nikolai does recognize her, but says nothing as she is nothing like the brash girl he had dinner with on that balcony




	2. Zoyalai Modern Au Pt.1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr prompt: hey would love if you could use my prompt: modern au zoyalai with zoya as a cat lady

  * Zoya is the principal violist in the philharmonic orchestra
  * Nikolai is the guy in the apartment below her
  * She honestly has no idea what he does for a living
  * Drug dealer? Artist? Lead singer for some awful band? Who knows
  * He drives an expensive car and dresses better than royalty
  * Anyways every morning she wakes up early and walks to the bus stop to get to rehearsal
  * Nikolai is usually out on his balcony impeccably dressed and surveying the horizon
  * And every morning he asks her to go on a date with him
  * And every morning she turns him down with a sharp insult
  * One day Zoya gets home late from a show
  * And one of her five cats, Malo, is sick because of something he ate when she was gone
  * She panics because she doesn’t have a car but the nearest vet is three miles away
  * So she squares up and knocks on Nikolai’s door
  * There are loud barks, then a slightly discheveled Nikolai opens the door
  * He’s a lot cuter up close, Zoya realizes
  * “I know we don’t really know each other but can you-“
  * “Anything for you, Nazyalensky”
  * He comforts her the whole way there and tries to make her laugh with stories about the stupid things his dogs have done
  * He’s there with her when she receives word that Malo will be fine with some medicine and fluids and she’s so relieved that she pulls Nikolai into a hug without thinking
  * She realizes after .75 seconds and lets go and pretends nothing happened
  * Nikolai takes her home and he thinks that’s probably the last time she’ll ever talk to him
  * But then next Saturday, she knocks (pounds) on his door at an ungodly hour with a picnic basket in one hand
  * “We’re going on a date. Take it or leave it.”
  * Nikolai has never gotten dressed quicker
  * They watch the sunrise together on some mountain just outside of the city
  * It’s cold and Zoya “forgot” a jacket so she moves closer to Nikolai
  * After their first date, they make a habit of one person dragging the other onto spontaneous dates
  * Zoya’s favorite date is when Nikolai took her to an amusement park and he won her a stuffed dog after like $50 worth of tries at one of the carnival games
  * Nikolai’s favorite is the night hike Zoya took them on where she pointed out each constellation for him
  * Even when they decide to move in together, they never really label their relationship. Nikolai is forever referred to as “that idiot” by Zoya around her friends but they all know better




	3. Zoyalai Modern AU pt.2

  * Nikolai loves watching Zoya practice viola
  * She literally threatens to castrate him if he even breathes wrong on her instrument, but sometimes she tries to teach him by wrapping her arms around his shoulders and helping him bow
  * For her birthday, he surprised her by revealing he’d learned how to play cello
  * They play simple duets to their pets at night when they have time
  * Nikolai goes to her concerts and all the rich folks give him disapproving looks for standing and whistling and clapping too enthusiastically after viola solos
  * “That’s my girlfriend!”
  * “Sir please be quiet or we will have to remove you from the concert hall.”
  * Nikolai has two dogs, a Golden Retriever named Sturmhond and a chihuahua affectionately named princess
  * Zoya five cats are Malo, Whiskers, Yuri, Bobsled, and Toast. There’s an elusive sixth cat who sometimes makes its way to her balcony to beg for food. Zoya names him Jester.
  * Whenever they go on vacation, they have Tolya come over and pet-sit for them. The pets love him because he always reads to them and is generous with treats
  * Once Zoya has to go on tour with her orchestra and she Skyped back every night because she knew Nikolai missed her a lot (she missed him too but she’d never say that out loud)
  * All the neighborhood kids love hanging out at their house because of all the animals. Zoya tolerates then if they aren’t too loud and Nikolai loves them and always stocks sugary treats for them




	4. Zoyalai Hogwarts AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Might become a fic later!

  * Zoya is in Gryffindor and Nikolai is in Slytherin a year above her
  * Zoya was actually a hatstall between Hufflepuff and Gryffindor, but she got impatient and told the hat to “put her in a goddamn house already” and the hat was like “yup not enough patience for hufflepuff. GRYFFINDOR!”
  * Zoya is muggleborn. Nikolai is pure blood, though there’s talk in the old families that his mother had an affair and he’s only a half blood.


  * Zoya is a dueling prodigy and takes great pleasure in crushing the bigoted students who insult her behind the teachers’ backs at dueling club
  * She’s also seeker for Gryffindor, but her talent isn’t too remarkable
  * Nikolai on the other hand is more well known as a Quidditch star
  * He’s one of the best chasers Slytherin has ever seen, and coupled with his natural charm and handsome looks, is the crush of every female student, and a surprising number of male ones as well
  * Well,  _almost_  every female student
  * Zoya has never given him the time of day and never intends to
  * She finds him pretentious and too much of a people-pleaser
  * That and he’s the Slytherin chaser who constantly leads to the defeat of her team
  * In his fifth year, he asked her to go to the Yule Ball with him
  * She turned him down
  * Their teammates started a betting pool as to when they’d start going out
  * During Hogsmeade trips, they always coincidentally end up together at the Three Broomsticks with their friends
  * When Zoya is made a prefect in her fifth year, Nikolai is delighted as he was already one
  * They do rounds together sometimes and it’s mostly Nikolai talking/trying to pry Quidditch info out of her
  * That year, Slytherin and Gryffindor end up facing off in the House Cup finals
  * It’s neck to neck when Zoya spots the snitch well before the Gryffindor seeker does
  * She’s so focused on the snitch that’s almost within her grasp that she doesn’t see the bludger a Slytherin beater sends her way
  * She’s knocked clear off her broom
  * Nikolai sees it happen, but he’s too far away to catch her
  * She lands badly on the pitch, one of her arms bent at an unnatural angle. She isn’t moving
  * Even though the game hasn’t been officially stopped yet, Nikolai is already diving for the pitch and running to her side
  * There’s blood on her face, her eyes are shut tightly and her breathing is labored
  * Nikolai is frantically trying to get her to respond
  * “Zoya Nazyalensky, talk to me. Insult me. Please.”
  * A grimace crosses her face. “Shut up, Lantsov.”
  * He wants to cry. “Yes. Keep doing that, love.”
  * “Don’t call me love.”
  * Professors whisk her away and he doesn’t see her until a day later in the infirmary
  * He brings her flowers and a rather sad looking teddy bear
  * She’s a bit loopy due to the medicine they gave her to cure the major concussion she had
  * A wide grin spreads across her face when she catches sight of Nikolai and he has to stop for a moment because he’s never seen her so happy
  * “Lantsov,” she practically sings
  * They have a rather strange conversation and Nikolai is pretty sure she wouldn’t remember a word of it later on
  * But then she turns her smile on him and asks, no  _demands_ , that he take her to the Yule Ball as an apology
  * The accident wasn’t really his fault, but he readily agrees
  * He turns out to be right about Zoya not remembering a thing about her stay in the infirmary
  * She’s much grouchier than usual because they decided that the match for the house cup would have to be replayed, but she was banned from participating in it
  * Slytherin ends up winning and the next day, Nikolai has the  _gall_  to show up after her last class and announce that he’ll pick her up at six for the Ball
  * When she protests, he plays a recording of that part of their conversation, relishing how quickly her face goes from indignant to mortified.
  * She storms off, but he knows she’ll be waiting for him at six
  * They’re having one last dance when Zoya casually asks which beater had hit her out of curiosity
  * Nikolai lies and says he doesn’t know even though he’d already placed the player on probation the day of the accident
  * Zoya looks up at him and has the sudden thought that Nikolai has never looked more handsome with the soft lighting and faint music
  * Nikolai thinks she’s the most beautiful girl he’s ever met and how lucky he is that she’s here in his arms
  * They share a tentative first kiss under the mistletoe off to the side of the dance floor
  * Copious amounts of money could be seen exchanging hands between Slytherin and Gryffindor students




	5. Instagram AU Drabble #1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drabble for @ipizzippy 's social media au, check it out on tumblr!

“Did you see that guy in the front row? Blonde, nice tux, dreamy eyes? He wouldn’t stop staring at you,” Genya called out from behind the changing curtain.

Zoya sighed as she ran her fingers through her hair and tied it back into a ponytail. “I noticed.”

She was used to people staring at her. She was a model, it was basically her job. But while most people’s gazes were focused on the clothes, and some more unsavory types on what was beneath the clothes, the mystery man only looked into her eyes. He  _did_  have dreamy eyes, the bright hazel of honey being dissolved into a mug of tea. And the rest of him wasn’t too shabby either. Normal people weren’t able to afford tailored Hugo Boss tuxedos, much less front-row seats at Paris fashion week. He had to be someone well known.

The rattle of the curtain being drawn back interrupted Zoya’s musings. Genya stepped out in her street clothes and hooked her arm through Zoya’s. “I bet he’s infatuated. Will you be giving him the usual treatment, or are you going to settle down?”

Zoya rolled her eyes and started guiding them towards the backstage exit. “I don’t even know his name. Why would I go out with some creepy.”

She pushed the door open.

“Obsessed.”

They stepped out into the bright sunlight.

“Fanboy?”

The door swung shut behind them, only to reveal the mystery man himself. He looked even better up close with tousled golden hair and broad shoulders. He shot her a grin as he clutched at his heart in mock pain. “You wound me.”

Genya broke out into uncontrollable giggles. “You handle this one, Zo. I’ll meet up with David first at the cafe.”

“Traitor,” Zoya muttered as her friend flounced away. The man stuck out a hand.

“Nikolai Lantsov. Philanthropist. Heartbreaker.”

She couldn’t believe the size of the ego on this one. Zoya took his hand and gave it a firm shake.

“Zoya Nazyalensky. I’m modeling for Dolce right now.”

“I saw. I can see why you’re always featured in the magazines.”

Zoya rolled her eyes and started walking towards her car. He followed, staying at her side. “Don’t tell me, you’ve been captivated by my beauty and you want to pay for a comfortable lifestyle for me outside of the ruthless fashion industry.”

He looked taken aback for a moment. “Not quite. Is that usually what happens?”

“It’s happened before,” she muttered.

“Well, I was more interested in your work for animal conservation. Harper’s Bazaar ran a piece on it?”

“They did. What do you want to know?” She reached her car and started digging around in her purse for her keys.

“I find it interesting that you refuse to walk for fashion houses that use unsustainable animal products. Doesn’t it put a dent in your work?”

“Is this an interview? Because you’d have to clear that with my agent first.” She found the keys, but they slipped out of her grasp and hit the pavement. She cursed and leaned down, but Nikolai was already there. Their fingers brushed as he handed the keys back.

“Not an interview. Just a talk. Perhaps over coffee?” He shot her another charming smile. Zoya sighed and did a mental run through of her schedule. She could leave Genya and David to their own devices, hell, they’d probably be happier that way. There was a fitting with Lovino at five, but surely their conversation wouldn’t take that long.

“Fine. Have it your way.”

* * *

 

She ended up rescheduling the fitting.


	6. Instagram AU Headcanons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Also for @ipizzippy's social media au

  * Zoya used to do dance when she was a kid through her teens which is why she still has perfect posture
  * She has a ballet background and moved on to do contemporary/modern dance
  * She was discovered at one of her recitals in college and signed on with an agency
  * She still does a bit of dance when she’s at home and has time and Nikolai usually goes down to the studio with her to watch
  * David and Nikolai are super good friends, especially when their girlfriends are somewhere around the world working
  * None of the four are actually good at cooking? Zoya and Genya usually eat out at like fancy restaurants that their agency pays for, Nikolai is used to having someone else cook for him, and David made it through graduate school with cup noodles and poptarts
  * The real chefs are Tolya and Tamar who run a fusion restaurant in NYC
  * They eat out there so much that Tamar literally puts a plaque up at their usual table. “Reserved for the useless friends who don’t know the difference between a saucepan and a pot.”
  * Zoya and Nikolai share an apartment right on the outskirts on the city. They don’t get to spend that much time there because of both of their schedules.
  * Zoya’s aunt Lilyana lives in Jersey and she adores Nikolai. Everytime they’re back in town together, she invites them over for dinner where she always hints at a wedding
  * Nikolai secretly keeps all the magazines for which Zoya has modeled.
  * One tradition Zoya and Nikolai always keep no matter their schedule is to go to Paris for a date at least once a year as that’s where they first met
  * They don’t exactly keep their relationship a secret from the public, but they are notoriously tight lipped about it. Other than the occasional post, they don’t advertise the fact that they’re seeing each other which drives fans crazy
  * (going back to that anon ask I sent you)
  * Zoya is a popular fancast for a certain magical character in a best-selling fantasy book series
  * She gets messages about it all the time and she’s v confused because she’s never read it, but she doesn’t mind because the fans are happy
  * Nikolai also happens to resemble the book character’s love interest, and there are so many modern au’s using their instagram photos
  * There are tons of requests from fans for them to cosplay as those characters, so they give in and decide to do it for a good cause at SDCC
  * Zoya dons a blue kefta and Nikolai a blue and gold military uniform
  * They act out a scene from the book for an adoring audience and it’s a hit because the chemistry between them is so damn good
  * They get invited back the following year and it eventually just becomes another annual tradition for the pair




	7. Zoyalai Actors AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr prompt: "hi! i really liked the headcanons you wrote for zoyalai. so how about actors au for zoyalai???"

  * Zoya is a super well known A-list actress who’s also notoriously private about her life
  * No one knows anything about her and the only facts you can find about her online is her birthday and an email for business inquiries
  * Nikolai, on the other hand, is the heartthrob of girls around the world
  * Rumors of scandals always surround him though, especially about him and a former co-star, Alina Starkov
  * Nikolai and Zoya are well-acquainted despite never having been in a production together
  * They see each other at award ceremonies a lot and have many mutual friends
  * One day, they end up being cast as the main leads for the same movie
  * It’s some kind of cheesy James Bond rip-off spy flick, both of them honestly don’t know how the producers were able to afford both their talents
  * Zoya plays the stoic English spy tasked with stealing state secrets from the Kremlin
  * Nikolai is her love interest, an aide for a Soviet official who wants to defect
  * The first scene they shoot together is a ball scene where the characters first come into contact with each other
  * Zoya’s wearing a deep blue dress with a plunging neckline and she can’t help scowling about it
  * But as soon as the cameras are rolling, she’s completely professional as she looks at Nikolai seductively from under her eyelashes as they waltz so close to each other that they’re sharing breaths
  * Nikolai visibly swallows, but continues to play his role
  * “I can help you,” he purrs in a thick Russian accent
  * Zoya’s stomach flips
  * The director calls cut and they reluctantly peel away from each other
  * This goes on for two weeks until they finally give in and hook up in Nikolai’s hotel room
  * Zoya considers it highly unprofessional and makes Nikolai promise to keep it a secret
  * He accepts, but is a little hurt
  * Filming wraps, but Zoya and Nikolai live in the same city so they still see each other
  * Nikolai is unsatisfied with a purely physical relationship, so he insists on taking Zoya out for dinner every once in a while
  * They literally have to rent out the whole restaurant every time they go so paparazzi can’t catch them
  * As the film release date draw nearer, Zoya and Nikolai have lots of interview and media appearances together to promote the movie
  * They’re ALWAYS asked about their relationship because their chemistry in the trailers is That Good
  * Nikolai tries to make a joke of it to respect Zoya’s wishes, but every time he dies a little inside
  * Zoya always goes with a flat out no and doesn’t say anything else
  * Fans are in a frenzy analyzing every single frame in the trailers and interviews to find proof that they’re together
  * Then the movie drops and fans collectively lose their minds
  * And a few months later, they’re nominated for best actor and actress respectively
  * Nikolai sees a chance and asks Zoya to be his date to the awards ceremony
  * She knows what he’s implying: going public with their relationship
  * She asks for a few days to consider it
  * And in her time alone, she realizes how patient he’s been with her and how much he cares for her and OH she loves him
  * She tells him the next day and he smiles wider than she’s ever seen
  * Literally as soon as they step out onto the red carpet together, twitter explodes
  * The interviewers rush for them and the first question is whether they’re confirming their relationship
  * Zoya answers with a small smile and adoring gaze for Nikolai
  * “Yes.”



## BONUS:

  * Zoya sprained her ankle while doing a stunt on set and Nikolai was just so worried for her
  * He literally carried her around the entire day on his back
  * The production crew still has pictures of it, but Zoya made them sign a NDA




	8. Instagram AU Drabble #2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another one for @ipizzippy 's social media au

“I’m not jealous,” Zoya stated flatly. She poured another glass of wine for herself and started swirling the glass. “Not at all.” **  
**

“Oh really?” Nikolai asked, a shit-eating grin stretched across his face. Zoya called it his “punchable face.”

She scowled, not caring if it ruined the paints that had been carefully applied to her face. “Go marry that Ehri, see if I care.”

She drained the wine, then stalked off to find something to kill time with before her show.

* * *

 

_Step. Step. Turn. Pose._

The throbbing beats of music hammered inside Zoya’s head as she went through the well-rehearsed routine. Tonight, she was modeling for a friend of a friend, some up-and-coming designer who liked sequins a little too much in Zoya’s opinion.

Camera lenses flashed in her face as reporters got a little too close to the catwalk edge. Zoya forced her aloof expression to stay on her face. Damn, she was still mad at Nikolai. What kind of boyfriend spent hours alone with another woman without explaining it? As soon as she reached the end of the catwalk and was backstage again, Zoya stomped over to her dressing area and checked her phone. Nothing from Nikolai. With an almost animalistic snarl, she yanked the sparkly halter neck dress off and started putting on the next outfit. Next to her, Genya shot her a sympathetic look as she changed.

“Men. Almost not worth the effort, wouldn’t you say?”

“Agreed. He’s definitely sleeping on the couch this week.”

But as the show went on and Zoya went through the rack of outfits she had to model, she began to see the problem more clearly. Maybe Nikolai wasn’t at fault- there was still a lot about his family he hadn’t told her, maybe Ehri was just another of those rich family things that she didn’t know about. She didn’t like it, but she should probably apologize.

She left the venue as soon as the curtain calls were over.

* * *

 

Zoya unlocked the door to her apartment and kicked off her heels. Her bare feet ached as she shuffled over to the dining room, a bag of takeout from Nikolai’s favorite restaurant weighing her down. “Nikolai?”

“In here, Zo,” he called out from the living room.

“What are you do- oh!” Zoya let out a little noise of surprise as she saw what he’d done to the space. Flickering candles were on every surface and the coffee table had been pushed aside for a nest of blankets. Her favorite show was set up on the tv. Nikolai was standing off to the side, looking sheepish.

“I’m really sorry for not telling you what was going on with Ehri. My family-”

“No, I’m sorry for being so paranoid. I know you would never cheat on me.”

She stood awkwardly, not knowing what to do after an apology. Should she apologize more, or go make dinner, or-

Nikolai’s arms wrapped around her and he rested his head on hers. She inhaled the scent of his sweet cologne. She could hear his slow and measured breaths. “We’re both idiots, huh. I love you, Zoya.”

“Love you too,” she muttered into his chest.

He released her and she could see his boyish grin. “I made dinner. We can eat and watch Gossip Girl and then-”

He cut himself off and waggled his eyebrows suggestively. Zoya rolled her eyes. “I got us dinner from Ricardo’s.”

“That’s probably a safer bet. I’m pretty sure I set off the smoke detector twice while making spaghetti.” He guided them to the pile of blankets and pushed her down after taking the bag of food from her. “I’ll reheat it, you can start Gossip Girl first.”

The clattering of plates from the kitchen could be heard in the distance as the familiar opening started playing. Zoya snuggled further into the blankets and sighed in contentment. Nikolai wasn’t going to be sleeping on the couch.


	9. Zoyalai Detective AU Drabble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr Prompt: "Hey hey hey, it’s your friendly neighborhood dregstrash. What do you say to doing 47 for Zoyalai? Please???"
> 
> [“Go on. I dare you.”]
> 
> For @dregstrash 's amazing detective au on tumblr.

Zoya’s harsh breathing was the only sound in the cavernous and dimly lit warehouse. Her hands shook as she kept her gun pointed straight ahead. At Nikolai, her life’s greatest what-if, and at Yuri, the leader of the Cult of the Starless who was responsible for the murder of countless innocents. Yuri had an arm hooked around Nikolai’s neck, the barrel of his gun pressed into Nikolai’s golden hair. A cloth tied around the lower half of his face left only his eyes visible. They were glued to hers like he was trying to tell her something. She wasn’t sure what. All she knew was that there were three people, two guns, and only one possible outcome. 

“I’ve heard a lot about you, Detective Nazyalensky. Youngest officer in nearly two decades. A prodigy trained by Morozova himself.”

“What do you want, Vedenen.” Zoya cursed the tremble in her voice.

“I just wanted to see the face of the person who’d been pursuing me. Imagine my surprise when they turn out to be some pretty little thing who looks barely out of the academy. I had my fun with you, Nazyalensky, but it’s time to be rid of you. And your pesky partner.”

He ground the muzzle of his gun into Nikolai’s scalp and Zoya saw him wince. She started forward, but Yuri shook his head threateningly. 

“Don’t. Stay where you are. Or Lantsov here will make his maker.”

Zoya hesitated. He would kill Nikolai, then turn the gun on her. She had to do something, save Nikolai, kill Yuri, call for backup, something. Her finger inched towards the trigger. 

Yuri saw everything. He laughed. “You are an excellent shot, Nazyalensky, but I doubt you can hit me from that distance without accidentally shooting your partner here. But you know what, go on. I dare you.”

Nikolai nodded at her, the slightest hint of fear in his eyes. That asshole still doubted her after years of watching her hit bullseye after bullseye. She lined up the shot, focusing on the tiny sliver of shoulder Yuri had exposed behind Nikolai’s broader ones. She exhaled. Then Yuri was moving his gun arm, but it didn’t matter, she had her target in sight, she pulled the trigger-

_Bang._

_Bang._

Zoya barely had time to wonder about the second gunshot before she crumpled to the floor, a burning chain in her chest. She couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t breathe, she was drowning-

Nikolai’s frantic face replaced the drab warehouse ceiling. The gag was gone and his mouth moved quickly. Zoya couldn’t hear anything beyond a high pitched ringing. She tried to push air out of her mouth to speak, but something wet was blocking her mouth. She coughed and felt warmth trickle out of the corner of her mouth. 

Nikolai’s familiar voice suddenly became clear. “Zoya! Zo, come on, stay with me. An ambulance is coming, just stay. Oh god, please stay.” Warm drops fell onto her face. and suddenly he was pressing down hard on her chest. She hissed in pain. 

“Ass..hole,” she muttered. Each syllable took so much energy. If only it took Nikolai this much effort to speak, then he wouldn’t constantly be talking her ear off. She took another burning, shuddering breath.

“That’s it. Come on Zo. Just a few more minutes.”

Minutes? Zoya wanted to sleep. Her eyelids were heavy and sleep promised relief from the pain. It would be okay if she just took a quick nap, right? She blinked slowly and let her consciousness start to drift. 

“Zo? Zo, you have to stay awake.” Nikolai’s hand was slapping her cheek. “Come on, Zo. You’re going to be okay, you have to be.”

Zoya fought and for a moment she surfaced from the gentle lull of sleep.

“I…I love…”

* * *

 

“Oncat. I was going to say Oncat,” Zoya insisted as she turned her head away from Nikolai to stare adamantly out the hospital window. He just moved to the other side of the bed with the biggest shit-eating grin on his face. 

“No way. You love me, Zoya Nazyalensky.”

“In your dreams, Lantsov.

“You,” he sang. “Love. Me.”

She threw the nightstand’s bible at him.


	10. Zoyalai Drabble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr Prompt: "For the prompt thing, Zoyalai with number 11?"
> 
> [“Don’t you dare throw that snowba- goddamnit!”]

Zoya felt a giddy smile spread across her face as she stepped outside the Grand Palace for the first time in what felt like weeks. She’d been cooped up inside trying to negotiate a trade agreement with the Kerch, something that was easier said than done because if there was one thing the Kerch did well, it was business. Well, business and crime.

Nikolai came up from behind, yawning and stretching his arms. Zoya pointedly looked away from the rich fabric stretched over his muscles. “Nice job, General Nazyalensky. Ravka is now in considerably less debt thanks to your stunning beauty that made Schenk lower his guard.”

Zoya scoffed. “Don’t be so jealous, did you see the way his daughter was making eyes at you?”

He winced. “I did, unfortunately. Let’s change the subject. Do you have plans for dinner tonight?”

“Tonight? I think Genya and I…” her voice trailed off as something caught her eye. A small speck of something drifting from the sky. Then another and another, until suddenly it was snowing. The first snow of the year. Nikolai and Zoya stood side by side silently, transfixed as the fluffy flakes started coating the palace grounds. 

“We can have a snowball fight tonight,” Nikolai said gleefully.

Zoya smirked and raised her hands, ready to summon. “Why wait?”

A gust of wind circled them, and deposited a pile of snow at her feet. She bent over and scooped up a nice handful. Nikolai started backing up, a hilariously panicked expression on his face. 

“Zoya, I command you not to throw that snowball at me. Zoya, love, don’t you dare throw that- goddamnit!”


	11. Zoyalai Argument/Accidental Confession Drabble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr prompt: "hiii can i request a zoyalai confession during a heated argument?"

“We want Zoya Nazyalensky. Even in Novyi Zem, we’ve heard of her power. And we know that grisha powers pass on through their children…” The delegate’s voice trailed off, but Zoya knew what he was implying. She’d be forced to marry someone of their choice and have as many children as they desired for the chance that they could have more powerful grisha under their control. She clenched her fist and let her nails dig into her palm instead of doing something impulsive that could end the these crucial negotiations. In the chair next to her, Nikolai was practically vibrating with rage. 

“Absolutely _not_ , Mr. Mozi,” he practically spat. 

“She would be treated well, of course. She would never want for anything and any family she has here in Ravka would be free to visit at any time,” the delegate continued, seeming not to notice the king’s clenched jaw. Zoya bristled at his words. She was a  _warrior_  who had clawed her way to the position she had today. She had fought armies, the Darkling, the Saints themselves. She would not be relegated to some housewife who’s sole purpose in life was to have and raise children. Unless-

“We’re offering generous terms, your majesty. Half of our navy at your disposal. Access to our trade routes. Military aid against Shu Han and Fjerda.” He leaned over the table. “Ravka needs all the help it can get. All it will cost you is one general.”

“I accept.” The words were out of Zoya’s mouth before she could think more about their consequences. Nikolai turned to her with an expression of betrayal.

“General Nazya-”

“This is our best chance, your majesty,” she hissed urgently. Mr. Mozi watched them with interest. 

“General, we cannot sign you away.”

“You can and you will if you want to keep this country.” She looked away from his wide hazel eyes. She wasn’t lying, so why was it so hard for her to meet his gaze?

“Excellent, General Nazyalensky. We’ll have a treaty drawn-”

“Mr. Mozi,” Nikolai interrupted with a pained smile pasted on his face. “If you and your party could give us a moment.  _Alone_.”

The man’s blinding salesman smile didn’t dim. “Of course, your majesty.”

Nikolai waved his own guards outside as well and they were soon alone. They instantly dropped the titles they’d been using in front of the guests.

“Zoya, what the HELL ARE YOU DOING?” Nikolai yelled. He pushed his chair back and started pacing the length of the room. “You can’t just sell yourself to Novyi Zem!”

Zoya crossed her arms. A breeze flitted about the room, rustling papers and extinguishing candles. “It’s the best chance we have, Nikolai. I’m just a general anyways, you can just promote Genya or David. Ravka needs this.”

“And what if they turn you against us? Against me? You’re too valuable, Zoya.”

“I swear on my life I will never raise a hand against Ravka. If they want me, then for the sake of our country, so be it.”

“And you’re okay with this,” Nikolai asked. He was suddenly across the table from her, fury etched into every feature. He slammed his hands onto the table, making the surface rattle. A glass of water overturned and a dark stain started spreading across a map of Novyi Zem. Nikolai didn’t seem to notice. “You’re fine with being nothing more than a brood mare for another country who would like nothing more than to see Ravka reduced to rubble.”

“I told you. If it’s for the sake of Ravka, I’d gladly die. This option seems much easier than dying anyways.” She tried to give him a sharp smile, but the corners of her mouth wouldn’t lift no matter how hard she tried. 

“It’s always Ravka this, Ravka that with you,” Nikolai snarled. “What about your life here? Your friends? Me?”

“You?” Zoya laughed. She’d practically been mooning after him for years and he’d never noticed. “What about you? You’re my king, nothing more.”

She might as well have slapped him. “Zoya…you’re more to me than just a general. You know that.”

“Oh, do I? I used to fawn over you like a love-struck child. I spent three nights a week drinking with Genya and complaining about how dense you are. Genya always told me you’d come around. But you never did. And now look at us.” She waved her hands around the room. “I’m sorry, Nikolai. But this is what’s happening.”

His hands were suddenly gripping her wrists, right above the dragon scale fetters she’d almost died for. He leaned in closer until they were sharing breaths. Zoya’s breathing hitched. 

“Zoya Nazyalensky. I’ve loved you from the very beginning. When we were nothing but Sturmhond and the Darkling’s favorite. I know I’m a dense bastard, but if you have a single scrap of affection left for me, please.  _Please_  don’t do this,” he begged. 

“I-” She met Nikolai’s gaze and lost the ability to speak. So instead she closed her eyes and the space between them. Nikolai made a noise in the back of his throat as her lips met his. He pressed her into the back of her chair and she let him. The kiss felt desperate, urgent, and much too short as Nikolai pulled away. 

Zoya touched her lower lip. “Nikolai-”

“Please, Zoya. Stay. We can work something out with the Zemeni, just not you. We can get what we want another way.”

“Nikolai…”

“Stay.”

Zoya sighed deeply. She could never say no to him. She intertwined her hands with his. “We’ll find another way.”

His relieved smile convinced her she made the right choice.


	12. Zoyalai Hospital/Accidental Marriage Idea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr prompt: "For the ask game, hospital AU and accidentally married?"

Zoya gets in a really bad car accident one day and Niks is with her when it happens but he’s fine other than a couple cuts and bruises. He rushes her to some private hospital that his family is a member of but they won’t admit her because she’s not listed as a family member. So Nikolai literally brings the priest from the church next door and they get married right there in the hospital lobby while Zoya is literally dripping blood on the floor. She’s really out of it and doesn’t really remember it when she wakes up. She’s really confused as to why all the nurses are referring to her as “Mrs. Lantsov” and when Nikolai admits what happened, she isn’t sure whether she wants to kiss or slap him. (They never annul the marriage bc both claim it’s too much of a hassle and all their friends are like “sure, jan”)


	13. Zoyalai Locked in a Room/Bed Sharing/Sleep Intimacy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr prompt: "Wait no! Bed sharing + sleep intimacy + locked in a room for Zoyalai 🙂 Have fun 😂"

  * So one time Zoya was checking in on Nikolai before bed as she usually did
  * They hadn’t been using the sleeping potion for a while and it seemed like the demon inside him was gone for good
  * They end up having a deep conversation about the direction of their country past midnight over warmed wine
  * And when Zoya tries to leave, she finds that either Tolya or Tamar had already locked the door, probably thinking that Zoya had already left (They totally knew she was in there ;))
  * She kicks the door for a while, but no one comes to unlock it
  * She looks out the window, but it’s too far a drop and she didn’t trust herself to use her powers precisely enough to fly while tipsy
  * Slowly, she turns back to Nikolai who’s lying on the bed, hands behind his head, grinning
  * “Looks like you’re stuck, Zo”
  * She huffs, but there’s already a flush spreading across her cheeks and it’s not from the wine
  * “Move over. Your bed is plenty big for two people.”
  * “I can take the floor if you’re uncomfortable.”
  * “Don’t be ridiculous.”
  * Zoya surprisingly falls asleep first
  * Nikolai turns over and watches how peaceful her face is for a while before he too drifts off
  * They wake up with Nikolai’s arms locked around Zoya and their legs tangled
  * When she tries to untangle herself, he wakes up
  * They’re both very flustered and don’t say another word to each other
  * Zoya flies out the window so she can be seen walking up to his room by others, but at his door, Tamar just gives her a smirk
  * “Fun night, general?”
  * “Piss off, Tamar.”




	14. Zoyalai Detective AU Drabble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr prompt: "46 for zoyalai 😊"
> 
> ["I'm in love...shit"]
> 
> More stuff for @dregstrash 's detective au

 

“Alright, another one Nazyalensky. I’ll catch it this time.”

Zoya rolled her eyes, but obligingly fished out another peanut from the bag and tossed it towards Nikolai. He opened his mouth wide and tried to move under it, but he forgot how tight their space was and smacked his head on the steering wheel. An obnoxious honk pierced the night. The car filled with a string of creative curses and Zoya threw her head back and let out a racous laugh.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the self proclaimed most brilliant detective of the Ravka PD.”

“Very funny-” Without warning, he suddenly shoved the car door open and took off running down the street. The locks clicked shut behind him. “Suspect spotted! You snooze you lose, Nazyalensky!”

Snarling, Zoya pulled the car lock, not caring about the earsplitting alarm. She started sprinting after him and the fleeing suspect. “Fuck you, Lantsov!”

“You offering?” With a cheeky grin thrown over his shoulder, he disappeared into an alley.  

Zoya wondered why a comment like that from Nikolai didn’t quite rub her the wrong way like they used to when they’d first met. Even the slightest hint of his crooked smirk had her bristling and ready to shoot someone. But now…she came to a sudden halt, suspect momentarily forgotten. 

“I’m in love…shit.”


	15. Zoyalai Drabble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr prompt: "HIII! Can I request a zoyalai headcanon/fic/whatever where either zoya or nikolai disappears for whatever reason? Something full of angst ;). BTW I JUST WANTED TO SAY THAT YOUR WRITING IS ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT and you seem like the best person ever! Thank you so much for your posts and everything <33"

Ravka had no king.

A blast of wind slammed into the cliff face as Zoya screamed her frustration at yet another dead end. Two weeks. Nikolai had been gone two weeks without a single explanation or clue to his whereabouts. 

Genya came up from behind her and laid a gentle hand on her shoulder. “There’s still that sighting near the southern border, we can make it there in three days.”

“I’ll get there faster on my own,” Zoya muttered as she pulled away. She didn’t miss Genya’s pursed lips of disapproval as she mounted her horse. 

“We’ll meet you there, then. But if you don’t find him-”

“I will.” If she didn’t find Nikolai…Zoya’s hands tightened around the reins. When she found him, she was going to beat the living daylights out of him. She refused to entertain the thought that maybe it wasn’t possible to find him, that maybe there would forever be a Nikolai-sized absence in her life. 

She dug her heels into the horse’s side and they were off.


	16. Zoyalai Detective AU Drabble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr prompt: "zoyalai + flirting under fire"
> 
> For @dregtrash 's detective au

“Have you done something new with your hair? It looks lovely today,” Nikolai commented.

Zoya growled. She hated how he hardly looked out of breath as they flat out sprinted down the street. “Hardly the time, Lantsov! We’re chasing a goddamn  _murder suspect_!”

“He only killed one person!” Nikolai protested. “Loosen up a little, Nazyalensky.”

She resisted the urge to shove him into a lamp post as they slowly closed the gap between them and the fleeing suspect. With a flying leap, she tackled the fugitive, wincing at their jarring impact with the pavement. Before the bastard could move, she had a knee digging into his back as she pulled his arms back and cuffed them.

“You’re under arrest. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will-”

“Zoya, will you go to dinner with me tonight?”

“Lantsov, kind of in the middle of something!” she snarled. She’d have to start over from the beginning again. “You’re under arrest. You have the right-”

“Zoya, there’s a new place near the station I want to try.”

“You’re under arrest. You have the right to remain-”

“Zoyaaa, I’ll even treat you.”

The suspect squirmed. “Can you two just work this out another time?”

“Yes.”

“No.”

Zoya and Nikolai stared each other down, neither refusing to budge. Uncomfortable seconds of silence ticked by. Zoya broke first. “Four drinks.”

“One.”

“Three.”

“Two.”

“Three.”

“Deal.”

Nikolai’s sunny smile remained on his face as she finally recited the suspect’s rights and shoved him into the squad car. Zoya scowled as she got into the driver’s seat and started the engine.

“Wipe that stupid smile off your face.”

“But we’re finally going on a date!” he protested.

“You forced me to. Otherwise, I’d still be out there trying to recite his Miranda rights.”

“Mm. Technicalities. Still going on a date.”


	17. Zoyalai Drabble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr prompt: "1,3, or 15 for Zoyalai? Thanks! :D - Kazual-Crow"
> 
> ["I don't want to hurt you"]

Zoya raised an eyebrow as Nikolai unstrapped his weapons belt and laid it over the back of a chair. “What are you doing?”

“Well, I don’t want to hurt you.” He proceeded to take off his coat and unbuttoned the top of his shirt. Zoya tried her hardest not to stare and laughed instead.

“You? Hurt me? Unlikely.”

He clutched at his heart in mock hurt. “You wound me, general. I  _was_  a privateer for many years, as you know. I know how to fight.”

“But you’ve never fought with a grisha like me.”

“That I haven’t,” he conceded. He stepped onto the mat and faced off against Zoya. She took him his relaxed fighter’s stance and the confident smirk on his face, then mirrored his expression. She would wipe the floor with her high and mighty king.

Without warning, he suddenly lunged at her, arms outstretched. Caught off guard, she tried to dodge, but his arm wrapped around her waist and she went down hard onto the mat with Nikolai pressed on top of her. Her instincts kicked in and she raised her hands. A strong wind slammed into Nikolai, but as he was knocked off her, he seized her wrists and they rolled one over another until Nikolai was leaning over her, blond hair falling over his eyes and smirk untouched by their nasty fall. Zoya flexed her hands, but Nikolai clucked his tongue and kept them pinned on either side of her head. “I don’t think so, Zoya dear. Admit defeat so I can rub this in your face for a month.”

“You cheated,” she grumbled. “I didn’t even say the spar was starting.”

“Pirates don’t fight fair. Now,” he continued as he leaned in closer. Zoya could count the gold flecks in his eyes. “Admit defeat.”

“Not quite, Nikolai. I could still win, I’m just not quite ruthless enough to do it.”

“How-”

Zoya raised a knee and tapped him ever so lightly on the inside of his thigh. “You wouldn’t like me very much if I went through with that, would you?”

Nikolai grimaced. Zoya’s gaze darted to his downturned lips, then back up at his eyes. They shared another breath, then he pushed himself off and offered a hand to her. “I concede, general. And I thank you for your…restraint.”

“Of course, your majesty. Just doing my duty.”

She brushed off her kefta and felt his gaze linger on her. “What?”

“Rematch. Tomorrow, same time. I’ll keep your ruthlessness in mind next time.”

She smirked. “You sure? Getting your ass kicked two days in a row can’t be good for your ego.”

“Just you wait, Nazyalensky. You’ll be swept off your feet.”

They shared their first kiss the next day, and indeed, Nikolai won their rematch.


	18. Zoyalai Instagram AU Drabble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr prompt: "no. 4 for zoyalai pretty please!!"
> 
> ["Is that my shirt?"]

Zoya yawned as she walked into the kitchen. Nikolai was already sitting at the counter, intently reading the newspaper. “Nik, do we have any- is that my shirt?”

She was almost positive the button up Nikolai was wearing had been gifted to her last year by some up and coming designer. It was oversized on her, but surprisingly, it fit Nikolai pretty well. Nikolai looked sheepish. “I spilled coffee on my shirt and most of the others are at the dry-cleaner’s. Sorry?”

“It’s fine. Just don’t ruin it, or you’ll owe me about five hundred dollars.”

He gave her a roguish grin. “Just admit I look better in it than you do. Perhaps I should turn to a career in the modeling industry.”

“In your dreams, Lantsov.”


	19. Zoyalai Hogwarts AU Pt.2

  * They start dating at the end of Nikolai’s sixth year, but exams quickly approach and it’s not long before they’re out for summer break
  * Zoya lives in London with her muggle aunt while Nikolai’s family lives out in the countryside
  * Every weekend, Nikolai apparates to London to go out on a date with Zoya
  * She shows him muggle things that fascinate him like subways and lava lamps
  * (He gets really hung up on lava lamps. Zoya eventually gets him one for his birthday.)
  * They go shopping in Diagon Alley together for school supplies as summer break comes to an end
  * Whispers follow them- Nikolai Lantsov, a quidditch prodigy who’s rumoured to be recruited by Puddlemere United and Zoya Nazyalensky, the fierce girl who could probably outduel Grindelwald himself- both excellent candidates for the Triwizard Tournament that was scheduled for that school year
  * Obviously, both put their names into the Goblet of Fire
  * They promise no hard feelings if the other person gets chosen
  * For some reason, the goblet wasn’t as heavily enchanted that year
  * And unknown to them, one of their teammates puts in “zoyalai” as a joke
  * And surprise, surprise, that’s the name that gets chosen as the hogwarts champion
  * No one really knows what to do, but obviously the Cup had decided they were both worthy
  * So the staff of the three schools agree that they would split the first two tasks, then complete the last one together
  * Zoya and Nikolai are surprised by the situation, but it’s not unwelcome
  * They decide Zoya should do the first task, then Nikolai the second
  * They prepare together- neither have any idea what they’re going to need, so they abuse their prefect privileges and spend late nights in the library together, huddled over musty books and a shared mug of hot chocolate
  * And on the day of the first task, Nikolai is in the stands and Zoya is led into the tent
  * She draws the Hungarian Horntail
  * The miniature dragon instantly takes a liking to her, curling around her neck and breathing small puffs of fire at whoever got too close
  * She names him Harold
  * And when it’s finally her turn to face the dragon, she marches out to cheers from all three schools
  * They’re all excited to see what one of the brightest witches of their generation will do
  * And she doesn’t disappoint
  * “ENGORGIO!”
  * Harold grows to a full size dragon and lets Zoya clamber onto his back
  * The spectators are going wild
  * The dragons face off, pawing the ground and snorting out fire
  * All the while, Zoya is busy casting charms on both dragons, trying to end it without a fight
  * And then the real Hungarian Horntail lowers his head in submission after some unseen action from Harold
  * Zoya easily accios the golden egg away, to the delight of Nikolai and the other Hogwarts students
  * She shrinks Harold back to his normal size and he returns to his perch on her shoulder where he stays for most of the week
  * Zoya gains a new title- Zoya, Dragon Tamer
  * The only person he allows near without setting them on fire is Nikolai, and that’s only after he bribes the dragon with the best meat from the dining hall
  * Nikolai figures out the golden egg puzzle after taking it with him to the lake while swimming early one morning
  * He summons Zoya, and they spend a few hours playing around in the water and listening to the siren song
  * Harold is put out because he can’t enter the water
  * And then when the day of the second task dawns, Nikolai can’t find Zoya
  * He panicks and initially refuses to go to the venue without her, but eventually some teachers get him to the lake
  * And when he hears what the first task is, he has to try so hard not to dive in the lake before they tell him to
  * He grew up near the ocean, so it’s nit hard to swim to the bottom of the lake after a quick air bubble charm
  * And there’s Zoya- eyes closed, black hair floating in a cloud around her face
  * He frees her and brings her to the surface and he freaks out for a second because he thinks she isn’t breathing but then she coughs out water and opens her eyes
  * “Not sure if I’d drown for you again, Nikolai”
  * He’s so relieved that he doesn’t care three whole schools worth of wizards are watching and he kisses her right there
  * The third task is…difficult for them
  * They stick together throughout the whole maze, but even each other’s presence isn’t comforting enough when they’re confronted with their own demons via boggart in the maze
  * In one corridor, Zoya sees her mother who tells her that Zoya was the one thing that held her back in life
  * Nikolai sees Dominick who died in an accident he still blames himself for
  * They eventually get past the boggart and meet other creatures and traps that they conquer thanks to their dueling skills
  * And there, only a few meters away, they spot the triwizard cup
  * They grab it together, and are instantly transported back to a cheering stadium where all the hogwarts students are giving them a standing ovation
  * A week later, Nikolai is approached by a Puddlemere United scout
  * He goes on to play for them right after graduation
  * He sends Zoya a season pass and his jersey  ~~which she wears when she misses him~~
  * Zoya graduates top of her class and becomes an auror specialicizing in black market magic
  * Nikolai’s always worried for her as she’s always going undercover for long stretches of time and he doesn’t know whether she’s alive or not
  * But whenever Zoya is home, they spend a lot of time doing muggle couple things like going to the movies
  * Both are occasionally invited back to Hogwarts as guest speakers and their teachers always dote on them whenever they’re back




	20. Zoyalai Actors AU Pt.2

Zoya scowled at the floor length gown she wore. It itched around the scandalously low neckline and she kept stepping on the too-long hem. How she was expected to dance in it was beyond her.

“Miss Nazyalensky, shooting in five,” a passing PA called out to her. 

The things she did for her craft. She gathered up the skirts as best as she could and started walking towards the ballroom of the old castle they were shooting at- it was drafty and dim, but Zoya had to admit, the director had vision. 

For a moment, she was distracted by a tapestry on the wall, then the next thing she knew, she was windmilling desperately, trying not to fall on her face. Thankfully, before she fell into an undignified heap, a strong arm wrapped around her shoulders from behind. 

“Nice spy moves, Nazyalensky,” Nikolai Lantsov said with a teasing smile on his face. The heat of his fingers lingered on Zoya’s exposed collarbone and she hurriedly pried his arm off. 

“Piss off, Lantsov. This gown weighs like thirty pounds.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be seducing me, Ms. Bond?”

“Not in this lifetime.”

They arrived to the grand ballroom and were immediately assaulted with bright lights and people rushing about. A makeup artist ran up to Zoya and started retouching her makeup. Another did the same to Nikolai, and soon, they were deemed ready to be in front of a camera.

Nikolai offered an elbow. “Shall we?”

Zoya rolled her eyes, but placed a hand on his arm. He guided them to the center of the room where extras in costume were paired up and waiting for the director’s cue. He looked maniacally gleeful sitting in his chair and gazing over the set and actors. 

“From ‘I can help you,’ Mister Lantsov. Ready? Action!”

Zoya sucked in a deep breath, then gazed up coyly at Nikolai through her eyelashes. They swayed in time with the other couples. He leaned in closer until Zoya was nearly kissing his neck. She could smell his hairspray and musky cologne. 

“I can help you,” he purred in a perfect Russian accent. Damn, he was good.

She let him lead her into a dip and for a moment, she was staring straight up at his handsome face backlit by the crystal chandelier. She remembered what one article had said about him- a face from heaven itself. She could certainly see why. 

“How so, Mister Krastov?” She made sure to elongate her vowels as her English accent required. 

“You’re a MI6 agent. Ms. Bond,” he drawled as his hazel eyes stared straight into hers. Zoya let her spine stiffen and her eyes widen in shock. 

“Who knows,” she demanded. 

He led them through a tight spin. Zoya followed, trying not to stumble in the ridiculously small heels the costumes department had made her wear. 

“Just me. For now.”

“What do you want.”

“Just-”

“Cut!”

Zoya peeled away from Nikolai and tried to get his scent and face out of her head. She needed to be on top of her game. 

The director approached them, a clipboard in hand. A choreographer and PA trailed him.

“Excellent work you two! We’re thinking of changing the choreography a little, just to add a little more tension, you know? So if you, Miss Nazyalensky, could be a little closer here, hook your leg there…”

The director’s words faded to the background as Zoya caught Nikolai’s gaze. There was a light sheen of perspiration on his face as he grinned roguishly at her. As she watched, he loosened his tie and unbuttoned the top few buttons of his shirt. Zoya quickly averted her eyes and tried to focus on the diagram the director was drawing for them. Sweet Jesus, it was going to be a difficult five months of shooting.


	21. Zoyalai Modern AU Pt. 3

  * It’s been a year since they’ve moved in together and Zoya decides its time for a new cat
  * Zoya and Nikolai spend a week going shelter to shelter, but they don’t find any cat they “click” with
  * But then during a walk with Sturmhond, Nikolai’s dog, they find a half feral kitten just wandering around
  * He’s pitch black with little white sock-like marks on his paws
  * And this tiny kitten’s first instinct is to try to pick a fight with a dog about ten times its size
  * So of course, Zoya and Nikolai instantly fall in love with the little demon kitten
  * Over the course of a week with lots of cat treats and toys, the cat eventually attaches himself to the couple and follows them home
  * Zoya takes him to the vet and he absolutely HATES it
  * After a harrowing two hours where he gets his required shots and whatnot, he’s given a clean bill of health and finally released
  * Surprisingly, the pet he most attaches himself to is Sturmhond, the dog he first tried to pick a fight with
  * Initially, Zoya and Nikolai couldn’t decide on a name and just call him”the demon cat”
  * But then Zoya gets inspired by Kaz Brekker, the principal violinist of her symphony
  * He’s a skinny little eighteen year old, but always ready to throw hands if someone insults him or his harpist girlfriend, Inej Ghafa
  * And when he’s not playing violin, he’s always wearing black leather gloves
  * Nikolai knows Kaz through mutual friends and when Zoya brought it up, he agreed that the resemblance between their cat and the violinist was striking
  * So they call the kitten “Kazzy” which sometimes turns into “Kazzykins”
  * Their friends think it’s hilarious and it becomes an inside joke use the cat’s name interchangeably with the person’s
  * Kaz hates the name with a burning passion, but he’s alright with the cat, especially because it always crawls into his coat pockets for a nap whenever he visits them
  * He calls the cat “Demjin” though because he refuses to let the name “Kazzykins” ever leave his mouth




	22. Zoyalai One Bed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr prompt: "pssst you should do an au where zoya and Nikolai go to a hotel and guess what im about to say you’re never gonna guess there’s .... ONE bed (DUN DUN DUN)"

  * Zoya and Nikolai are college students who need to conduct research for a group project and said research involved flying them out across the country
  * Zoya is super cranky because of the red eye flight while Nikolai is slightly less so because he’s old enough for in flight drinks
  * (Zoya definitely tried to swipe them, but Nikolai held them abover her head and tsk tsk’d at her attempts of underage drinking)
  * So anyways they arrive at the airport and call an Uber
  * And on the way to the hotel, Zoya is trying so hard not to fall asleep, but Nikolai’s shoulder is so comfortable
  * And when she wakes up when they arrive, she instantly springs away and denies anything ever happened
  * At the front desk, they find out the hotel was accidentally overbooked and there’s only one room left. And there’s only one queen bed.
  * It’s not like they have another choice so they take the room
  * Nikolai offers to sleep on the floor, but Zoya tells him to not be stupid. The bed is plenty big enough anyways
  * Zoya is out like a light as soon as she crawls under the covers
  * Nikolai isn’t feeling tired yet, so he works at the desk for a while until he can’t stop yawning
  * At this point, Zoya is pretty much sprawled across the bed in a most undignified manner
  * Nikolai doesn’t want to wake her, so he makes himself balance on the very edge of the bed and quickly falls asleep
  * They wake up early because Zoya forgot to turn off the blaring alarm she usually has set for school
  * Somehow, Zoya’s head is pillowed by Nikolai’s chest and he has an arm thrown over her shoulders
  * Nikolai is the first to realize who the other person is and he literally jumps out of bed, apologizing profusely
  * Zoya just refuses to look at him and the rest of the day passes by awkwardly
  * And then it’s night again and the exact same routine happens
  * It goes on for a full week, with each person getting less and less awkward about it each morning
  * Zoya has to admit, Nikolai is a great snuggler and Nikolai thinks Zoya makes a perfect body pillow
  * Zoya even finds herself looking forward to the nights they spend together
  * And all too soon, it’s over
  * With their research done and bags packed, they head back to the airport
  * Nikolai asks to use Zoya’s phone to call their professor bc his is dead (he’s a responsible student)
  * And it’s one of the newer iPhones so she just nods and looks at the outstretched phone to unlock it
  * It opens to an email from the hotel they were staying in from a few days ago, saying a second room had opened up and they were free to take it
  * And a reply from Zoya saying they were fine with their single room
  * A grin spreads across Nikolai’s face. Zoya still hasn’t looked up from the notes she was taking.
  * “So Zoya, did you like sleeping with me?”
  * Zoya turns five shades of red before she snatched her phone away
  * “It’s cheaper to stay in one room,” she mutters
  * On the flight home, she manages to down Nikolai’s drink before he notices




	23. Zoyalai Olympics AU Pt. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr prompt: "Could you do Zoyalai + Olympics AU, where Zoya is a gymnast and idk abt Nikolai, maybe swimming🤔"

  * Zoya is a Russian gymnast with a specialty on balance beam and floor excercise
  * Nikolai is an American swimmer who’s set a couple world records for freestyle
  * They don’t know each other super well, but Zoya is constantly referred to as the Nikolai Lantsov of gymnastics so she kind of hates him on principle
  * They meet for the first time at the Olympics which took place in LA that year
  * Both were flag bearers at the opening ceremony and as the countries are big rivals in sports, both delegations were side eyeing each other a lot
  * Zoya has to admit, Nikolai was cute (and he had a great swimmer’s body)
  * And Nikolai is instantly smitten with the sharp-eyed gymnast who looks like she could kill him with her thighs
  * David is an American diver and he sees Nikolai’s heart eyes and he just whacks his friend over the head because yeah, he’s a world champion swimmer, but he’s also a world champion idiot
  * And Genya is also elbowing Zoya bc the golden American boy is making eyes at her and she’s trying very hard to Not Be Distracted


  * Both their events take place in week 2 with Zoya’s happening first, so they’re busy training
  * But occasionally, they’ll attend a popular event to cheer on other members of their delegation and they’ll catch sight of each other
  * Nikolai’s always decked out in America gear- like uncle sam striped top hat, light-up glasses, American flag wrapped around his shoulders and loud red white and blue team usa jacket
  * Zoya is a little more toned down with her support- the stripes of the Russian flag on both cheeks and her team jacket
  * While watching a track and field event that Genya’s in, the Russian delegation ends up sitting next to the American one and surprise, Zoya is right next to Nikolai
  * He grins at her and extends a hand. “Nikolai Lantsov.”
  * She rolls her eyes and pointed at the id badges both of them are wearing. “Duh.”
  * They chat occasionally throughout the event, with Nikolai flirting a lot. He invited her out to a trip around LA, his city
  * She declines
  * As the event ends, Nikolai follows Zoya as she exits the stadium and keeps talking her ear off
  * She tries to ignore him and ditches him to find Genya so she can congratulate her for medalling 
  * When suddenly she’s surrounded by tall American men, track runners as far as she can tell
  * They’re blocking her in and making comments about her, Russia, how her talent is probably a result of doping
  * When she tries to push her way out, one of them grab her arm and she’s considering kneeing him where it hurts, PR scandal be damned, when Nikolai shows up
  * His eyes are furious and with a few sharp words, the runners disappear as quickly as they came, leaving Zoya a bit shaken
  * Nikolai fusses over her and offers to help her report it to Olympic authorities, but she just thanks him and runs off
  * During training that night, she’s distracted and not really nailing any of her routine, so her coach gives her the night off chalking it up to nerves
  * Zoya decides to go out for a jog around the Olympic Village and of course she runs into Nikolai who’s also on a night run
  * He invites her out to dinner and this time she accepts
  * She tells herself it’s just to thank him for his help during the earlier incident
  * They have a great night out on the town and Zoya’s accented voice is stuck in Nikolai’s mind for a week
  * David notices him daydreaming about Zoya more and more often and he’s very done because they’re at the OLYMPICS and Nikolai doesn’t have time for puppy love
  * Zoya tries to push Nikolai out of her mind as her event draws closer and soon enough, it’s the team round
  * Nikolai does go to the gymnastics event with his same obnoxious America getup, but he’s also holding a gigantic Zoya face to cheer her on
  * All her teammates are giggling at her and Zoya wants to die
  * She nails each of the events and pulls in some serious points for Team Russia
  * Nikolai once again has heart eyes and multiple times the cameras catch him rooting for Zoya even though the American gymnasts are like Right. In. Front. Of. Him.
  * Team Russia manages to snag gold by a thin margin from Team America 
  * Zoya is busy celebrating with her own team/resting for the individual events the next day, but she does text a little “;)” to Nikolai
  * He’s literally rolling around in his room and David wants to smother him with a pillow
  * At the individual event, he forgoes the America getup but returns with an even bigger Zoya poster
  * She’s doing great, and after a particularly clean floor routine, even winks at Nikolai in the stands
  * She’s leading by a respectable margin in both beam and floor, eyeing silver in vault, and is now on uneven bars
  * She goes through the routine with virtually no flaws, but on her dismount, she lands a little awkwardly on the mat
  * She stays standing and smiles as she waves at the crowd, but Nikolai saw the flash of pain on her face and the way she tries to hide a limp as she walks back to her teammates
  * He tries to enter the athletes’ area, but they won’t let him through
  * He has no choice but to return to the stands and watch the medal ceremony
  * Zoya enters on crutches, her ankle heavily taped up, but her face is still glowing with happiness and Nikolai can’t breathe because he’s never seen anyone so beautiful
  * Zoya won two golds, a silver, and a bronze and the medals are tangled around her neck as she poses for picture after picture
  * She meets Nikolai at the entrance to the athlete’s area and he helps her carry all her flowers and gear back to her room
  * She looks so worn out, but still gives a smile in thanks and a quick peck on the cheek
  * The next day, it’s time for his first event and he spots her in the front row, crutches and all
  * They spend more time together in LA before she has to return to Russia, but they make good use of Skype and they try their hardest to make their busy schedules work out




	24. Zoyalai Olympics AU Pt. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr prompt: "Can we get a little fix about how Nikolai made him and Zoya official for your olympics AU?"

“You sure you want to do this?” Nikolai asked, his finger hovering above the “post” button.

“It’s about time,” Zoya muttered, trying to quell the uneasiness in her stomach. They’d been seeing each other sporadically for almost two years, and the rumors were starting to get out of control. From their first meeting at the Olympics, here were dozens of social media accounts dedicated to photos of them together and theories. Everyone loved a juicy romance after all.

“You’re absolutely, absolutely, sure?” he asked, completely earnest. Zoya found it endearing, but she would also prefer to just bite the bullet. She grabs the phone from him and hits post without a second thought. Then tossed the phone onto the nightstand and burrowed into the sheets, groaning.

“I’ve made a terrible mistake.”

“It’s not too late, I can take it down.”

“The internet is a ruthless place. Please flush my phone down the toilet before it starts blowing up.”

Zoya felt Nikolai lay down next to her and tuck his face into her neck.

“My little dramatic Zoya. I’m more worried for myself. What if your fans come after me?”

“I’m more worried about your fans,” she grumbled. “I’ve never seen so many rabid teenage girls than that day at the airport.”

He chuckled and had just started trailing little kisses down her neck when her phone let out a little chirp. Than another. And another. Nikolai’s phone started dinging as well.

Nikolai reaches over her head and started scrolling through the rapidly growing list of notifications. “David’s asking how much I paid you to be able to post that.”

“Tell him he’s an idiot and that he and Genya should also announce their relationship so we’re not the only scandal.”

He chuckled as he typed out her message. At this point, the ringing was starting to make Zoya’s head throb so she reached for her phone to mute it. Before she did, she caught sight of the multiple screenshots of Nikolai’s Instagram post being sent to her with messages of congratulations and surprise.

It was a picture of Zoya from the back as she gazed out at the sunset from Nikolai’s balcony in LA. Her Team Russia jacket with “NAZYALENSKY” emblazoned on the back was wrapped around her and Nikolai’s oversized Team USA sweatpants pooled at her feet. The caption was a simple three words. “Love the view.”


	25. Zoyalai Olympics AU Pt. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr prompt: "Olympics AU, Nikolai reacting to hearing Zoya speak Russian for the first time?"

  * Zoya’s usually very careful with not speaking Russian around him as she doesn’t want him feeling left out of the loop
  * Like she’ll usually talk with Genya in Russian, but if Nikolai comes along and joins their conversation, she’ll switch to English
  * Nikolai doesn’t really understand why she does this, but he never really confronts her about it
  * But then they’re hanging out together at Nikolai’s place and Zoya gets a phone call from her coach
  * She excuses herself to the other room and soon enough, she was arguing loudly
  * First in English, then as the argument dragged on, her accent got thicker until she was full out shouting in rapid Russian
  * And Nikolai started understanding why she didn’t use Russian around him
  * Because she was downright _terrifying_  when she spoke it and he was instantly reminded of every Bond villain ever
  * He eventually gets over it and learns a bit of Russian for her, enough so  that he could carry a conversation if the other person spoke very, very slowly




	26. Hogwarts AU Drabble

“And…begin!” Kaz Brekker announced, a satisfied smirk on his face. Nikolai was always a little wary of the younger Slytherin. He always looked like he was calculating how he could get rid of him. 

He circled Tamar warily, watching for the telltale twitch of her wand. The girl had a lioness’ grin on her face as she fluidly mirrored his motions.

“Ready to go crying to your little girlfriend, Lantsov?”

“Likewise.”

Kuwei, Tamar’s second, looked bored as he picked at his fingernails. From what Nikolai had heard, he’d only agreed to be Tamar’s second as some kind of solidarity thing as they were literally two thirds of the entire East Asian population at Hogwarts. “We wouldn’t be in this situation if you hadn’t snubbed Nadia at quidditch tryouts.”

Nikolai frowned. “I told you, we already had two seekers. We don’t have the time or people to train another one.”

“She’s better than your substitute seeker and you know it. If I win, you’re going to give her a second chance.”

“Tamar-”

“Expelliarmus!”

The flash of red light came arching towards Nikolai and he barely put up a shield in time. He went on the defensive as Tamar fired off spell after spell while barely taking breaths of air in between them. 

Nikolai was just about ready to start attacking when the door to the dueling classroom burst open to reveal a furious Zoya. Distracted by how her hastily thrown on robes were slipping off to reveal a bare shoulder, a spell from Tamar caught him right in the chest and knocked him backwards. Invisible ropes bound his body and he squirmed on the floor, trying to free himself. 

“Hey, Zo, what led you here?” he attempted weakly. Zoya did not look impressed. 

“What is the meaning of this?” she demanded. The question seemed to be directed towards Wylan, Nikolai’s second. The poor kid looked terrified, either because of the situation or Zoya.

“Uh…dueling practice?” he squeaked.

Zoya pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. “Back to your dormitories. All of you. And,” she continued, while staring straight at Tamar, “no detours to the Slytherin dormitories.”

Kaz swept out quickly without a backwards glance. Tamar shrugged as she filed out, Kuwei followed her and Wylan also backed out of the room casting one last fearful glance between Zoya and Nikolai. Then it was just them. Nikolai tried to give her a winning smile. She turned away and started walking towards the door.

“You can’t leave me here, Zoya!” he shouted. The spell binding him hadn’t loosened in the slightest.

“Watch me, Lantsov. I wonder if you’ll still be here when it’s time for dueling club tomorrow.”

“Zoya!”

The door closed behind her.

—-

“You look terrible,” David remarked at breakfast.

“Thanks for the concern,” Nikolai grumbled as he slathered butter on a piece of toast. The spell had worn out sometime after two in the morning and he’d stumbled back to his bed and completely crashed. From the Gryffindor table, Zoya was decidedly not looking at him.

Just then, Tamar plopped down across from Nikolai and next to her girlfriend, Nadia. She smirked at him. “Fun night, Lantsov? Heard Nazyalensky hung you out to dry.”

He suddenly realized something. “You knew. That Zoya had rounds last night.”

Her eyes widened in mock shock. “How could I possibly have known. You were just unlucky she happened to walk in on our little duel. Speaking of which, you agreed to give Nadia a second chance.”

Nikolai sighed and nodded. 


	27. Drabble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "5 gives 13 kissing lessons. 7 catches them and is confused."

“Has  _anyone_  seen Tamar today?” Nikolai asked in exasperation. They were supposed to go over the security details for a charity ball he was hosting in a month, but the woman was nowhere to be found. 

Zoya barely looked up from the paperwork she was making notes on. “Check Nina’s room. Those two have been thick as thieves ever since Nina got back from Fjerda.”

Nikolai set off, letting his mind wander as he walked through the familiar palace. It was almost spring, which meant warmth and flowers. He’d pick a bouquet for Zoya, or make a crown out of those small blue blossoms that would match her kefta…

Too soon, he arrived at the heartrender’s quarters. He pushed the door open. “Tamar, we need to- What in the name of-”

Nina and Tamar were sitting cross legged on the former’s bed. Both wore bright red lipstick and two stacks of envelopes sat between them. One stack had envelopes sealed with a scarlet kiss.

“Tamar instantly turned red and chucked a pillow at Nikolai. Still too confused to react, it hit him right in the face and he stumbled back a few steps into the hall. The door slammed in his face.

“I’ll be out soon, just wait for me in the main hall!” she yelled.

“What are you doing?” he yelled back, still trying to process what he had seen.

“Mind your own business, Lantsov!”

Nina seemed to have a laughing fit as Nikolai slowly backed away from the room. 


	28. Modern AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "this is for your 1500 celebration thing! Can I pleaseee have 15, 2, 7, and 14 playing tag in the park in some modern au? Love, dregstrash"

When Kaz had invited Nikolai and his friends to the paintball range, Nikolai had expected to have fun. Not watch his friends get systematically annihilated by the younger group members. 

Genya had been the first to gone down with a hot pink pellet to the leg by none other than Nina. Then Zoya, but not before she’d managed to hit Kaz down with her. Jesper had been eliminated in a rather dramatic fashion as he dived in the pellet’s path to save Wylan. But now it was just down to Issak and Nikolai on one side and Inej and Matthias on the other. The odds weren’t looking so good for him.

“Where the hell did Inej go?” Issak whispered urgently as he crouched down next to Nikolai. The girl had a knack for disappearing that made her a difficult opponent. And while Matthias wasn’t as adept at hiding, he was still a crack shot. If Nikolai stuck as much as a finger over the stack of tires he was hiding behind, he’d be a goner.

“Unknown. We should take out Helvar first, then deal with her.”

“I can feel her watching,” Issak said, shivering. Nikolai had to agree with his friend’s sentiment. He was on edge, waiting for pellets to fly at him from some inexplicable angle. 

“On three, we split and charge Helvar. One of us should take him down.” Nikolai tried to sound more confident than he felt. Despite him and Issak having been trained with real firearms, Matthias and Inej made an intimidating duo. They were facing almost impossible odds.

 _Improbable, not impossible_ , he reminded himself. He nodded at Issak. “One. Two. Three!”

He launched himself to the side, rolled, and sprang up ready to shoot Helvar. Who was no longer behind the brick wall shooting at the two of them. What-

“Nice try, boys,” a familiar voice came from behind. There was a loud pop, then Nikolai jolted from a sharp pain in his back. Another pop was heard, then Issak’s groan of defeat. Sighing, Nikolai turned and found Inej with a smirk on her face. 

“Well played, Ghafa.”

“Maybe next time,” she replied as she turned away. Kaz was waiting for her on the edge of the arena and they gave each other a high-five for crushing the other team.

Zoya approached him, her face still splattered with paint that had ricocheted off her helmet from Jesper’s head-shot. “Impressive effort, Lantsov.”

“Why thank you, Zo. You didn’t do so badly yourself.”

She scowled. “Next time I’m shooting Jesper in the head for revenge.”

Nikolai clicked his tongue as he slung his arm around her shoulders. They started making their way back into the building to return their equipment. “Such viciousness, Zo. How unbecoming.”

She let out a little huff. “Says the person who had a fifteen step plan to win the game and drilled all of us for an hour about our strategy. And we still lost.”

“Consolation dinner date?”

“Deal.”


	29. Nikolai Drabble?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "how about 7, 9, 10, and 13 all getting stuck in an elevator on the way to their workplaces on separate floors. Maybe they’ve met before, maybe they haven’t. But either way. They now have a nice chunk of time to try and get along before they get rescued~ ":)"

Nikolai gave a quick nod to everyone inside the elevator as he stepped in- a short red-headed boy wearing an intern’s badge, an Asian woman with pixie-cut black hair, and David, someone he’d eaten lunch with a couple times who worked in the IT department of Nikolai’s company. He pressed the button for the twelth floor and settled in for the short ride.

Or it would have been a short ride if the elevator didn’t grind to a stop between the fourth and fifth floor. Frowning, Nikolai jabbed at random buttons, hoping the elevator would get going again. Unfortunately, nothing worked. 

The boy looked like he was hyperventilating. “It’s my first day with Dregs LLC,” he stammered. “I can’t be late.”

David merely took a book out of his bag and began reading.

The woman pulled out a phone and started talking very, very loudly to someone who Nikolai assumed was her girlfriend. “Heyyyyy Nadia, about our date…”

Nikolai tuned her out and took a seat on the floor next to the boy. He patted his arm awkwardly. “It’ll be fine, I know your boss. Kaz might seem really scary, but…no he  _is_  very scary. But he’ll understand why you’re late.”

The boy didn’t seem comforted, but he nodded his thanks. 

As the minutes ticked by, Nikolai thought of Zoya, who was probably waiting to start a meeting because of his absence. Unfortunately, he couldn’t get a signal and he was stuck in the elevator until an outside force decided to intervene. 

An hour went by, then two. The woman, who introduced herself as Tamar, kept jabbing the call button while even David was starting to look a bit uncomfortable. The temperature was starting to rise and Nikolai undid the top buttons of his shirt. At this rate, Zoya was going to kill him as soon as he stepped off the elevator.

Suddenly, the elevator lurched and then started ascending as if nothing had happened. Tamar gave a whoop of victory and Wylan looked marginally less terrified. As Nikolai watched the digital display that announced which floor they were on, the elevator first passed his and David’s floor, then Tamar’s, until they arrived at the top floor. What the hell?

With a ding, the doors rolled open to reveal none other than Kaz Brekker. He had a pleased expression on his face, something Nikolai had learned to be wary of. 

“Congratulations, Wylan. You passed the first test of a Dregs LLC intern. Calm under pressure,” he said with a maddeningly calm smile. 

Nikolai bristled. “You kept us in there for two hours? For some kind of test? The rest of us have jobs to get to, you know!”

Kaz waved a hand dismissively. “I already informed the correct people, you won’t be penalized. Now, Wylan, it’s time to meet your supervisors.”

He whisked the boy away, then it was just Nikolai, David, and Tamar left in the elevator. Nikolai’s phone started vibrating like crazy as what was probably hundreds of texts from Zoya were delivered in an instant. He winced as he tapped on the latest missed call. Zoya picked up at once. “Nikolai, where the  _hell_  have you been? I nearly lost those investors from Colorado we’ve been stringing along for months!”

Nikolai laughed weakly. “Funny story…”


	30. Escape Room Headcanons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Everyone gets invited to an escape room but only 1,4,7 & 15 show up and are trapped together."

  * It was Kaz who invited everyone to the escape room, but then one by one they all backed out citing other commitments until it was down to Zoya, Nikolai, Issak, and Dunyasha
  * Nobody knows why Kaz invited Dunyasha in the first place, but anyways
  * It’s a prison-themed escape room- the group is split into half and each half goes into a separate jail cell
  * They’re still connected by a window though, so they can pass objects back and forth
  * Zoya pairs up with Nikolai while poor Issak is left to deal with Dunyasha
  * Zoya and Nikolai are really quick with solving the first puzzle in their room, guiding a key out of a maze via magnet
  * The next puzzle is a crossword puzzle where the clues are in Issak and Dunyasha’s room while the blank puzzle is in Zoya and Nikolai’s
  * It’s kind of a mess, but it turns out Dunyasha actually knows a lot of random facts and she basically carries everyone
  * It kind of goes smoothly from there, but time is ticking and they haven’t found the keys to each other’s cells
  * And it’s suddenly down to the last two minutes and everyone’s stressed because there’s still five puzzles to go and Nikolai is just like “Zoya give me a bobby pin”
  * And it turns out Nikolai’s pretty good at picking locks, so that’s how they escape with ten seconds to spare
  * The gamemaster is too busy dying of laughter to be mad at them and he counts it as a successful escape
  * They get their picture taken and framed on the wall of successful escapes




	31. Nikolai Coffee Shop AU

Nikolai hated working at his family’s cafe. First of all, it was a popular place so he never had time to sit down and rest. Second, he barely got paid since it was his family. Third, it was his  _family_.

As soon as he’d clocked in for his afternoon shift, Dunyasha, some distant cousin of his, had “accidentally” spilled a cup of creamer on his apron. She hadn’t apologized, and Nikolai was left standing in a puddle, wanting to quit on the spot. But he quickly pulled himself together and steeled himself for two hours of working alongside Dunyasha.

“Hey Yash!” he called from the register. She poked her head out of the kitchen, scowling. He knew she hated that nickname. “I’m stepping out for a break. Take over the register for me.”

As he brushed by her to get to the break room, she muttered something. “If you can’t handle the register, you should just let me take over.”

“Love you too, cuz.”

In the kitchen, he grabbed a couple cookies for himself from a still-warm tray. Cranky or not, Dunyasha still made the best sweets in the city. 


	32. Genya and Nina Drabble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "5 and 11 argue after a miscommunication and then suddenly start a pillow fight and chill out."

“Aren’t you happy for us?” Genya asked, tears glistening in her eyes. 

Nina sighed. She didn’t want to be the one to break the news to Genya, one of her role models, but it had to be done. “Of course, Genya. But-”

“If you’d objected, why didn’t you say anything earlier? I wouldn’t have gone through with it if you opposed it.” Genya deflated and curled up on the bed with a pillow clutched to her chest. “David and I already have everything booked, it’ll be a hard fix.”

“It can’t be that difficult,” Nina said as she stroked Genya’s back comfortingly. 

“What do you mean?” Genya demanded. “You want me to call off my marriage-”

“What?!” Nina shrieked. “I said no such thing! I just think the flowers you’re using are ugly!”

Genya blinked disbelievingly, then burst out laughing. “Why didn’t you just say so Nina? I was so worried, you idiot!”

She threw the pillow at Nina, who was busy protesting. “I did say so! It’s not my fault you automatically jumped to the worst conclusion!”

She smacked Genya back with the pillow and soon the air was filled with gently drifting feathers as it devolved into a pillow fight. Unknown to them, David had poked his head in to see how they were doing, then left with a small smile at the sight of his future wife laughing like a child again. 


	33. Zoyalai Soulmate+Time Travel AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one might actually be turned into a fic if people express interest

  * Nikolai is a broke af college grad with a phd in theoretical physics and not much else tbh 
  * He works at a government funded lab that’s tinkering around in quantum mechanics and time travel
  * He’s good at what he does, but he finds his work kind of boring and unfulfilling
  * He always feels out of place among his peers and wishes for a simpler time
  * He brings his work home one day and he’s just idly doing advanced quantum engineering stuff while reclining on his ratty couch, eating a microwave dinner and watching downton abbey reruns
  * and he has a BREAKTHROUGH
  * He rushes to the lab, still dressed in his pajamas and makes the corrections needed
  * nd he must have accidentally jostled a button or something because suddenly he’s seeing white, then he lands hard onto a wooden floor somewhere
  * The next thing he knows, there’s loud female shrieking of very colorful curses and various painful objects are being thrown at him
  * He’s freaking out too, like where IS he
  * They both calm down in a couple minutes and that’s when Nikolai really notices her
  * Her jet black hair is loose and wild around her face and her eyes are the most mesmerizing thing he’s ever seen
  * He takes in her shirtwaist and long skirt, then dashes to the window
  * AND HOLY TOSTIDO THE STREET IS FULL OF THOSE OLD-TIMEY AUTOMOBILES AND EVERYONE’S DRESSED FUNNY HE TIME TRAVELED
  * He grabs Zoya’s hands in excitement and is just kind of bouncing around like a little kid and in the back of his mind he notices how nice her hands feel in his
  * “What the hell is your problem?” she demands
  * He starts babbling about how he’s from the future and how he built a time travel machine and she’s like “sure, jan”
  * He suddenly feels a splitting headache and he somehow knows he’s about to be sent back to his time
  * In his last seconds, he introduces himself
  * She gives him an exasperated smile. “Zoya Nazyalensky. We’ll meet again, I suppose?”
  * Then he’s back at the lab like nothing happened. He checks the clock. He was only away for ten minutes
  * He goes back to his apartment, but now he can’t sleep, and when he finally crashes, exhausted, he dreams of Zoya’s bright blue eyes




	34. Olympics AU First Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ask: "zoyalai first kiss for your olympics au? 💕"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yikesss haven't updated this in a while, but here's a dump of everything I've posted on tumblr

“I came as soon as I heard.”

Zoya looked up at Nikolai’s earnest expression, the flush on his cheeks from exertion. He’d clearly sprinted up to her hotel room, not to mention a taken a long plane ride from wherever he had been. Part of her screamed to let him in, to tell him everything that was wrong, but the roiling storm of emotions inside her said otherwise. She moved to slam the door in his face.

“Hey-” He shoved his foot in before the door could fully close. “Zoya! You can talk to me! You don’t think I believe the allegations do you?”

“You better not,” she snarled. She gave up on trying to shove the door closed and instead proceeded to aggressively slam kitchenware around as she made coffee for both of them. Nikolai closed the door behind him.

“I worked my  _ass_  off to get here. To be accused of-” Her voice broke off. She remembered the awful phone call she’d received that morning, the flood of hateful comments on social media. The humiliation of being forced through tests. “They’re threatening to strip me of my medals, even though the results are coming back clean.”

“But that’s unfair! Just because some of your teammates were caught doesn’t mean you-”

She laughed bitterly and flopped down on the couch, the coffee forgotten. Nikolai sat next to her and she rested her head on his shoulder. “This could be the end of my career. I’m not sure if they’re even going to let me compete tomorrow.”

Nikolai was silent, but his hands wrapped around hers. They sat there together, each lost in their own thoughts. It wasn’t until Zoya’s phone rung that they stirred. She picked it up hastily.

“Genya?”

“Oh, thank goodness!” the other gymnast exclaimed in Russian. “Both of us are allowed to compete tomorrow without penalties. They’re still investigating, but it looks like we’re off the hook for now.”

“Really?” Zoya’s bad mood certainly hadn’t dissolved, but it was slowly starting to peel away. “That’s fantastic. I’ll see you tomorrow then, get some sleep.”

She found Nikolai staring at her as she ended the call. She crossed her arms defensively. “What?”

He shrugged. “Good news?”

“I’m competing tomorrow. Which means you,” she said as she hauled him up and steered him towards the door, “need to go. I need some sleep.”

“Wait, that’s great!” he protested. “We should celebrate!”

“With what?” she asked. He grinned down at her from right outside the doorway. She resisted the urge to slam the door again.

“Doesn’t every athlete need a good luck kiss?” he asked. He even had the audacity to give her a cheeky wink. She stared him down for a few seconds. His smile was starting to dim when she mumbled a soft “fine.”

He leaned down and she stood on her toes, eyes closed. They shared a warm breath, then for the briefest of moments, his lips pressed onto hers. All too soon, he moved away, smirking at her. She narrowed her eyes. “You call that a kiss, Lantsov?”

“Well, in this country, ye-” 

She yanked him back inside her room and pushed him against the wall. He obliged her by leaning down and then their lips were together again. Nikolai was warm and soft and Zoya instinctively pressed closer to him, a small purr of pleasure escaping her throat.

When she stepped back, Nikolai looked slightly dazed. “I should visit Russia more,” he muttered.

She laughed and pushed him out of her room. “Goodbye, Nikolai.”


	35. Instagram AU Jealous Nikolai

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ask: "Okay we got jealous Zoya, but can we please please please get a jealous Nikolai. I mean after all Zoya is a model she's bound to have met some pretty attractive men? Just a thought love your work!"

“Zoya, are you-?” Nikolai’s question died in his throat as he entered her dressing room. Zoya was sprawled on the couch, her feet resting in the lap of a stunning redheaded man. They both had glasses of wine and neither were decently dressed- Zoya in a thin robe that was slipping off one shoulder and the other man was shirtless with silky pajama pants on, revealing a toned chest. Neither got up to greet Nikolai. 

Nikolai knew Zoya well enough to know that she wouldn’t cheat on him, but this scene definitely didn’t make him too happy.

Zoya gave a small wave of her hand. “Nikolai, meet Harshaw. Harshaw, Nikolai. Harshaw’s also modeling for Dior right now.”

“A pleasure,” Nikolai ground out. His hands fisted in his suit pockets. Why was he so annoyed?

“You must be the new boyfriend I’ve heard so much about,” Harshaw said with an easy grin. Was Nikolai just imagining things or did Harshaw emphasize “new?”

Zoya swung her legs onto the floor and stood, stretching. Nikolai didn’t miss the way Harshaw’s eyes tracked her every movement.

“We’re still going to Tolya and Tamar’s tonight, right?” she asked.

“Of course. Just. Us,” he emphasized, perhaps a little unnecessarily. Harshaw’s grin never left his face. 

“Alright. Both of you get out then, I’m going to get dressed.”

She slammed the door behind both of them and then Harshaw and Nikolai were alone.

“So how long have you known Zoya?” Nikolai attempted.

Harshaw’s grin reminded Nikolai of a cat’s. “We met during one of her first jobs. We tend to be hired for the same shows a lot.”

“That’s…great,” Nikolai forced out. He couldn’t think of something else to talk about, so they stood there in silence. Thankfully, Zoya’s door opened and she stepped out wearing a beautiful black dress. She leaned up and kissed Harshaw on both cheeks. “See you tomorrow, alright?”

“Of course, Zo.”

He walked away and Zoya put her arm through Nikolai’s. “You’re tense, Nikolai. Is something wrong?”

“Nope. Everything’s fine. Peachy.”

Zoya came to a sudden stop and narrowed her eyes. “You’re jealous, aren’t you?”

“Of course not. Not in the slightest.”

“Don’t be an idiot, Nikolai. I wouldn’t have agreed to start a relationship with you if I was going to be sleeping around.”

“But-”

“Uh uh. You’re the only one for me, Nikolai.”

“Oh.” A small explosion of giddiness went through him and he pulled her a little closer. 


	36. Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ask: "for your olympics zoyalai au: how about one of them getting into a sticky situation with a fan/fans and the other has to intervene?"

  * Nikolai has always has a huge fanbase, mostly of teenage girls
  * There’s a particularly dedicated group known as the LLs, or the Lantsov Lovers
  * They have an instagram profile full of candid shots of him taken by fans from around the world
  * Wherever Nikolai goes, there’s sure to be at least a few LLs at the airport to welcome him
  * When the rumors of him and Zoya first start to arise, the LLs are one of the main groups to fan the flames
  *  But instead of harmless speculation or support of the relationship, they try to tear Zoya down instead, insisting she’s not good enough for Nikolai
  * They start spreading nasty rumors about her including but not limited to doping accusations, insulting fans, and bad behavior back home in Russia
  * Unfortunately, while Nikolai is usually very attentive to his individual fans,  he’s pretty oblivious about fan groups
  * So he has no idea the kind of attacks Zoya is being subject to just by being associated with him
  * Zoya knows, of course- it’s hard to ignore when she gets about a dozen malicious messages a day telling her to stay away from Nikolai
  * She has experience dealing with rude people though so she doesn’t make a big deal of it and mostly ignores it
  * It’s a couple months after Nikolai and Zoya’s first meeting at the Olympics and right after they officially announced their relationship, and they’re traveling to Los Angeles together for a short vacation
  * Somehow, fans found out while they’re en route and by the time they arrive at LAX, a sizable crowd is waiting for them, including several LLs
  * They give some handshakes and autographs before airport security hurries them on their way
  * But before they’re out of earshot, one of the LLs calls Zoya something unrepeatable him whipping his head around, trying to find the source
  * Zoya’s trying to pull him away, telling him to just ignore it, that she’s used to it
  * And that’s when he realizes how much hate she must have gotten just by being close to him since the very first time they met
  * He’s absolutely  _furious_  
  * He makes an impassioned speech/rant about how any true fan of his would respect his decisions about who he dates 
  * And he also goes off on a tangent on how wonderful Zoya is, on what a great athlete she is and how her work ethic puts everyone to shame
  * It only stops when Zoya throws her arms around his neck and kisses him hard
  * Everyone’s dead silent for a moment, then it slowly grows into roaring applause
  * From that moment on, the LLs are some of Zoyalai’s strongest supporters, some of them even becoming gymnastics fans as a result of attending her competitions in the hopes of spotting Nikolai 




	37. Olympics AU Jealous Nikolai

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ask: "I live for your olympics AU and would sell my soul for a jealous Nikolai HC/fic from it"

  * Zoya is understandably a very popular person
  * She doesn’t quite have a fan group like Nikolai’s LL’s, but she always gets a lot of stares wherever she goes
  * So it’s about a month after they came out as a couple and she’s traveling to the US from Russia for a competition and Nikolai just  _happens_  to be going with her
  * And when they get off, obviously Nikolai’s fan club is there to greet them
  * But there’s also a sizable group of Zoya’s fans and they go crazy the moment they see her
  * They ask her to pose for photos and sign autographs, and since Zoya’s coach advised her to improve her public image in America, she obliges them
  * Nikolai’s also off signing autographs and stuff, but he keeps looking back at the men with their arm around Zoya’s waist and shoulders
  * He’s feeling irrationally irritated and keeps trying to get closer to Zoya, but he’s surrounded by fans
  * But then he sees a fan kiss Zoya’s hand and get down on his knees and that’s when he’s had enough
  * He storms over and puts his arm around her waist
  * He puts on a winning smile for the crowd around them
  * “We’ll be late for our dinner reservations, Zoya,” he announces loudly
  * Zoya furrows her brows. “We didn’t make any-”
  * “Our dinner reservations. At the dinner place. At dinner time.”
  * “Ah. Yes, our dinner plans,” she says slowly.
  * They make their way out of the airport and soon they’re in a taxi on their way to their hotel
  * He’s quiet, staring out the window as the familiar sights of LA fly by
  * Zoya’s on her phone, texting Genya
  * “Your coach should assign security to you next time.”
  * She doesn’t look up from her phone and laughs
  * “I don’t need it. I can take care of myself.”
  * “I’m serious. What if I’m not here and some fan-”
  * “Are you jealous?”
  * He stops for a moment. “No. Of course not. Jealous? Me? Preposterous. Impossi-”
  * Zoya leans over and silenced him with a kiss
  * “You don’t have to be. What fan of mine could compare with the great Nikolai Lantsov?”
  * He turns red and mutters something under his breath
  * Zoya only laughs and returns to texting Genya




	38. Zoyalai Drabble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [“You’re the only one I wanna wake up next to.”]

“Zoya, you’re the only one I want to wake up next to. Not Ehri. Not some nameless princess. You.”

Zoya blinked the stinging out of her eyes. Nikolai couldn’t do this.  _They_  couldn’t do this. To risk their country for something as fleeting and childlike as  _love_ \- She dug her nails into her palm.

“Then you are going to be sorely disappointed for the rest of your life,  _your majesty_. I have no interest in marrying you. Or anyone else for that matter.”

“We don’t have to get married,” Nikolai said in a rush. Something desperate gleamed in his eyes. “We’re still young, and-”

“Don’t be ridiculous. You need the political alliance a marriage can promise. Not to mention a legitimate heir.” She felt the skin of her palms break and sticky blood spread on the tips of her fingers. She tugged the sleeve of her kefta over her hand.

“Zoya, I-”

“You have a wedding to get ready for, your majesty. I wish you nothing but happiness for the future.” She turned to go. Nikolai didn’t stop her and each step felt harder to take. Wasn’t Nikolai going to say something to her? She risked a look back, but all she saw was the flash of Nikolai’s gold cloak as he vanished around the corner of the corridor. 


	39. Zoyalai Detective AU Drabble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ["Just breathe, okay?"]

Nikolai awoke from a sharp kick to his back. His first instinct screamed  _attack,_ and before he was fully in control of his movements, he’d sprung out of bed and landed on his feet. His bedroom was dark, the air still except for the slight movements of another figure in his bed. Zoya.

Information flooded Nikolai’s brain as he remembered the day’s events. Zoya had finally been discharged from the hospital, which led to drinks, which led to…other things. 

But now, Zoya was shaking, non-sensical sounds coming from her throat. Nikolai cautiously climbed back onto the bed and put a hand on her shoulder. “Zoya-”

Her eyes flew open, the bright blue of her irises shining with what little light filtered in from the drawn shades. Her hand closed around Nikolai’s wrist as she flipped them. Nikolai’s back landed on the mattress hard as she put a forearm to his throat and leaned in. 

“The Darkling,” she panted. Her eyes were unnaturally wide and she kept glancing from one corner of the room to another, as if monsters lurked in the shadows. “He’s coming. He’s coming for me.”

“Zoya,” Nikolai rasped frantically. He tried to shove her back so he could breathe, but she seemed possessed with inhuman strength. “I can’t-”

“He’s here already. He marked me, permanently. He won’t let me go,” she sobbed. She lessened the pressure on his throat for a moment and Nikolai seized the opportunity. He shoved her back, then captured her wrists and pulled her to him in a bear hug. Zoya’s body shook violently against his.

“Shhhhh,” he murmured. “Just breathe, okay? You’re safe here. You’re in my apartment, no one can get to you here.”

“I can still hear him. He made me listen to what he did to Alina, then he-” Zoya broke off, panting. Nikolai stroked her hair, his heart clenching. He knew they were lucky to find Zoya relatively early. If they hadn’t- he didn’t want to think about the state they would have found her in, if at all. He held her a little tighter.

“We’ll get him, okay? He won’t get away this time.”

Zoya soon fell asleep in his arms, exhausted. He held her until slivers of sunlight started to stream into the room.

 _I’m going to catch that bastard_ , he vowed.  _Whatever it takes_. 


	40. Olympics AU Drabble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ask: "zoyalai embracing after like a really big yknow when someone is really surprised and proud with flushed cheeks and bright eyes. ugh pls."

Nikolai knew he was doing well. Great, even. The water drowned out every noise around him until it was just the pounding of his heart, the smooth strokes of his arms. He could see the plate now, and with one final kick, his fingers brushed it. He gripped the curved lip of the pool and yanked his goggles down, just in time to see the swimmer in the lane to his right slam his hand onto the plate. 

His muscles burned from exertion as he pushed himself out of the pool in one smooth motion. His coach hurried over with a towel, which he accepted gratefully. 

The roaring of the crowd gradually reached him. He mustered up a smile for everyone and waved to a particularly visible group of his fans. Around him, other swimmers were climbing out of the pool and acting similarly for the crowds.

The scores. Where were the scores?

“Nikolai!” 

The familiar voice made him pivot around to see Zoya practically running for him, a wide smile on her face. “Look up at the score!”

Nikolai looked up, and in the next instant, several things happened. Zoya slipped on a wet spot and pitched towards Nikolai. He instinctively caught her, but he himself couldn’t find purchase on the slippery tiles and fell backwards into the pool, Zoya going down with him. But right before they hit the water, Nikolai saw his name on the jumbotron, on top of the list. A small “WR” flashed next to his score.

Then he splashed down. He surfaced quickly, Zoya spitting out water next to him. He hooked an arm around her and treaded water for the both of them. She gave him a mischievous smile as she impatiently flicked wet hair out of her face. 

“Nice job, Lantsov. Guess I’ll have to break another world record to even out our score.”

“Not a chance, Nazyalensky. I like the score exactly where it is.”


	41. Allied AU Pt.1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based off the 2016 movie starring Brad Pitt and Marion Cotillard

  * Nikolai is a dashing Canadian pilot who now works with the intelligence agency
  * He’s one of the best at his job, so naturally, when there’s a mission that requires a spy to infilrate Nazi-occupied territory and assassinate a troublesome official, he’s chosen for the job
  * Zoya is his contact, a member of the French Resistance who’d already been undercover for months to establish their cover story
  * They meet for the first time in a smoky club
  * Nikolai only knows her code name- The Dragoness- but when he sees the curling dragon embroidered with gold thread on the back of her dress, he knows it’s her
  * He embraces her from behind and plants a kiss on his “wife’s” cheek
  * To her credit, she doesn’t even hesitate for a moment before continuing their act
  * It isn’t until several hours later when they’re driving back to their house that Nikolai finally gets a good look at Zoya
  * In the light of the passing streetlamps, she’s easily the most gorgeous woman he’s ever met
  * She notices him sneaking glances and smirks
  * “Keep your eyes on the road mon petit renard”
  * They grow comfortable living with each other, pretending to be a young couple wildly in love with each other
  * But even then, there are some lines that neither of them will cross
  * Nikolai never asks about what happened to Zoya’s French Resistance group
  * Zoya doesn’t question Nikolai about his time as a fighter pilot
  * And the two keep it strictly professional once they’re away from prying eyes, no matter how much both of them want otherwise
  * They finally give in to their feelings the night before their mission as it’s probably going to be their last night on earth anyways
  * And then before they know it, they’re in their car, ready to attend the party where the assassination is due to take place
  * Nikolai tries to hide his nervousness and gives her a cheeky grin
  * “If we make it out alive, I’ll propose to you. Big diamond ring, flowers, all that.”
  * She gives a rare smile back. “If we survive, I might just take you up on that offer. After you, Monsieur LeBlanc.”
  * And against all odds, they make it through, no worse for wear
  * They’re taken to England, and somewhere in London in a bomb shelter as the earth shakes from explosions, he gets down on one knee and Zoya says yes




	42. Hogwarts AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hogwarts au ask: after they get together,Zoya and Nikolai get super competitive about everything (especially since they are in rival houses) but they get really mad when someone else insults one of them??"

  * Before they become interested in each other romantically, they are like the BIGGEST rivals in everything despite Zoya being a year younger
  * She has always heard her older housemates complaining about Lantsov and how he’s Slytherin’s golden boy
  * So of course, she becomes determined to be better than him and uses him as a standard to measure herself
  * Like Nikolai knows how to do a sloth grip roll?
  * She’s down at the quidditch pitch all night trying to figure it out
  * This competitiveness only gets worse when they start dating
  * Because suddenly, Zoya feels desperate to prove herself, that she wasn’t just Lantsov’s girlfriend, but a powerful witch in her own right
  * Nikolai’s more than happy to compete with her because honestly he hasn’t felt challenged in a while
  * They’re especially competitive with quidditch
  * Their teammates always try to get them to spy on each other and get insider info, but they usually refuse to let that come into their relationship
  * Nikolai’s usually really conflicted when planning quidditch strategies with his team bc part of him is like goddamn Zoya Nazyalensky but the other part is like hot  _damn_ Zoya Nazyalensky
  * Once, one of his chasers made the mistake of calling Zoya a bitch during one of these strategy meetings
  * The whole room goes quiet, heads swiveling towards Nikolai
  * A fake smile is pasted on his face as he steeples his fingers and stares the offending chaser down
  * “I beg your pardon, I must have misheard you. What did you say about Zoya?”
  * The chaser realizes his mistake too late and spends the rest of the week trying to make up for it
  * Zoya wonders why some random Slytherin fifth year keeps sending packages of butterbeer and chocolate frogs to her room
  * When she asks Nikolai about his younger teammate, he just laughs it off and doesn’t tell her about the incident
  * No matter who wins or loses, there’s always plenty of consolation kisses and cuddles later that night, so is there really a bad outcome?




	43. Hogwarts AU Drabble

Zoya knew she was in trouble when a third Slytherin stepped through the dueling room door. Next to her, Genya, her Second, crossed her arms nervously.

“I thought you said it was just a standard duel.”

Zoya watched as the three Slytherins third-years stood shoulder to shoulder, identical smirks on their faces. She’d challenged their leader, Dunyasha to this duel after she’d heard a muttered “mudblood” as the older girl shouldered past her in a corridor. She had a low opinion of Dunyasha, of course, but Zoya had at least expected her to duel fairly. The silence of the castle was suddenly very apparent to her. If Dunyasha and her cronies did something terrible to the two of them, it wouldn’t be discovered for several hours. Her grip on her wand tightened.

“What’s the meaning of this,” Zoya demanded. She tried not to let her voice shake. “You’re not allowed a third person. You should learn to respect the rules.”

“And  _you_ ,” Dunyasha simpered, “should learn to respect your superiors. A lowly mudblood such as yourself has no business challenging the blood of Salazar Slytherin himself.”

Zoya was ready to abandon magic and punch her in the face. “Are you so scared of me that you need two other people? Prove to me you can actually duel, you sorry excuse of a-”

The spell came out of nowhere, a beam of red light that sent her flying into a stack of musty books which practically buried her. Dazed, she blinked the thick dust out of her eyes. Faintly, she heard Genya scream, but little spots of white kept flitting across her vision. She struggled to push herself up. Dunyasha raised her wand again.

Then the doors flew open and in stormed Nikolai Lantsov, the Prefect badge on his chest shining like a beacon. He appraised the situation and quickly turned to Dunyasha.

“20 points from Slytherin for unauthorized dueling. Get back to the dormitories. Now.”

Zoya would have gloated, but there was a throbbing pain in her head. Genya hurried over and helped her up. Dunyasha gave her one last snarl, then exited the room with her friends in tow.

Nikolai approaches Zoya, concern and exasperation clearly written on his face. It was the first time Zoya had been this close to him and dimly, she noticed the scent of his cologne. It was something nice and expensive smelling, not like the cloying scents her father had preferred.

“What were you thinking, Nazyalensky?”

She tried to stand up straighter and ignore the pain in her head. “She started it. She called me-”

Nikolai sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “No matter what she did, you still didn’t stand a chance. You’re only a fourth year, what could you possibly know about dueling?”

Zoya froze at the dismissive tone he used. She did not study as hard as she did just to be belittled by this so-called golden boy. She raised her wand and before he could blink, she slashed it through the air.

“ _Expelliarmus_!”

She caught his wand, then another ruthless slash of hers had him falling to the floor, stunned. She stepped over his probe body.

“Let’s go, Genya. I’m sure someone will find him, sooner or later.”

His eyes moved to hers, pleading. She merely dropped his wand and let it roll tantalizingly close to his frozen hand.

The door behind them shut with a resolute thud.


	44. Zoyalai PJO AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by Rick Riordan's Percy Jackson and the Olympians series

  * Zoya is a daughter of Zeus
  * She’s able to control wind and is gifted to the point where she prefers to use her power as her main weapon
  * She has the Hephaestus cabin give her pouches of leftover celestial bronze dust and shards which she propels with wind in order to kill monsters
  * When she was a child, her mother was always bitter and abusive, so she ran away when she was eight. She fell into the Darkling’s gang of runaway demigods
  * He ended up trying to use the demigods’ power for himself and the group was disbanded by a group of camp half blood demigods on a quest when Zoya was ten
  * She’s claimed the instant she crossed the camp borders
  * She doesn’t have many close friends at camp- people tend to stay away from her because of how powerful she is, or because of her history with the Darkling, or both
  * Zeus tends to ignore her, which she is perfectly fine with
  * She tends to spend most of her time at camp practicing in the arena
  * Nikolai is a son of Poseidon
  * While he still has the abilities of a typical son of Poseidon such as breathing underwater and talking to sea creatures, his power to control water isn’t very strong
  * His powers lean towards sailing related things
  * He always knows exactly where they are in any body of water and can probably sail battleships just by sheer willpower
  * His mother sent him to camp when he was 12 because she was afraid her husband would find out Nikolai wasn’t his
  * He does eventually find out when Nikolai is 15 and he starts living at camp year-round to avoid living in such an awkward family dynamic
  * Whenever he has time to himself, he steals a canoe from the lake and goes about a mile out in the ocean. He has many one-sided conversations with his dad this way and sometimes Poseidon answers
  * He and Zoya know each other- there aren’t very many children of the Big 3- but due to their circumstances and a natural rivalry between their cabins, they never grow close during camp
  * It isn’t until they go on a quest together that they’re finally forced to interact
  * They’re told to bring back the scales of a sea dragon which can only be defeated with the combined powers of the sea and sky
  * Chiron makes an exception and they’re allowed to go with just the two of them
  * They set off on a yacht (provided courtesy of Mr. D. Sadly, it was the only vessel CHB owned at the time)
  * Clearly, being forced together on a very small boat leads to many soul- baring discussions, so Zoya and Nikolai soon grow close
  * She’s fascinated by the way he can just lay back and have the boat sail itself
  * They spend a lot of time on deck together admiring the ocean views
  * She especially loves the curious sea creatures that occasionally visit them to greet Nikolai
  * They eventually find the dragon and their quest proves successful
  * They each get an iridescent scale as a spoil of war and when they get back, David makes them into matching pendants that they hang on their camp necklaces




	45. Zoyalai Code Name Verity AUs

  * Zoya as an ATA pilot who regularly flies S missions for SOE agents and Nikolai is the ONE spy who always breaks protocol by engaging in conversation with her and she can’t help but look forward to when she ferries him places?
  * Or if you take the twist at the end and apply it to canonverse, maybe Zoya has been captured by the Darkling and Nikolai’s on a mission to save her, except they only get stuck in a stalemate. Zoya knows Nikolai’s hiding in the dark somewhere, so she just gives a desperate laugh and tells him to “Be ruthless.  _Yuyeh sesh_.” And he saves her in the only way he can, by shooting her.




	46. Zoyalai Olympics AU Drabble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Can we have joint training sessions with zoyalai in the Olympics au?? They have like different sports but I assume they workout together. Love ya, dregstrash"

“It’s five am,” Zoya announced matter-of-factly. Nikolai groaned at the intrusion into his precious sleeping time. He rolled over and pulled the sheets over his head.

“Which means one should be asleep, Zoya darling.”

“Morning jog for an hour at five. Shower and stretches, then breakfast at seven. Then we’re going to the gym.”

“Is that what you do in Russia? Wait, actually don’t answer that-”

Zoya made a frustrated noise and yanked the covers off the bed entirely. Nikolai yelped at the sudden chill and curled up, trying to conserve the heat he had left. Zoya was already dressed in leggings and a loose tank top. She had a little crease between her brows as she scowled down at him.

“I’ll go for a warmup jog around the neighborhood first. If you’re not ready by the time I finish the lap, you’re sleeping on the couch tonight.”

“Zoya, wait-”

She left and soon, he heard the front door slam. Cursing, he hopped out of bed and started digging around for some clothes.


	47. Zoyalai Three Sentence Soulmate AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "For the prompt thing: Zoyalai That soulmate AU where there’s a black mark on your body for where your soulmate first physically touches you. It bursts into colors when they finally do."

Zoya grabbed the nearest man she could find, a handsome blonde with hazel eyes that widened as her hand cupped the back of his neck and pulled him closer. His hand went around her waist as he lowered his lips to hers. Unknown to them, just as the fireworks went off to commemorate the start of a new year, bright colors also burst into existence onto skin still covered by the hands of the other.


	48. Zoyalai Actors AU Jealous!Nikolai

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "More actors AU for Zoyalai? Bonus if it's jealous Nikolai?"

  * In their spy-flick, Zoya’s James Bond-esque character has another love interest, another English spy played by one Petya Osipov
  * They get along surprisingly well as they were friends even before being cast together, apparently having gone to the same acting school and starting in the same agency
  * Nikolai sees them together on set a lot, laughing off-camera and generally having a great time and he can’t help feeling a little put out that it took Zoya so long to warm up to him
  * And when he sees their chemistry on camera as they share a passionate kiss, he’s definitely more than a little put out
  * This strange feeling lasts until all their interviews post-production where in addition to probing questions about his and Zoya’s relationship, they ask VERY invasive questions about the dynamics between the three of them
  * Soon, the media paints a picture of him and Petya both vying for Zoya’s affections and it seems out of control until one day, right before an interview, Petya pulls Nikolai aside
  * “Look, I know our relationship is kind of…weird right now.”
  * Nikolai raises an eyebrow and doesn’t say a word
  * “I know you and Zoya are, uh, together. She told me.”
  * “And?”
  * Petya fidgets. Sometimes, he feels like Nikolai is a little too much like the intimidating Russian agent he played in the movie.
  * “I’m not trying to steal Zoya from you. I actually already have a girlfriend. Ehri, you know, that actress from that martial arts college movie? I was  actually going to reveal that during this interview and I didn’t want you to be shocked.”
  * “Oh.” Nikolai blinks. Suddenly, the world is right again. “Thanks for telling me.”
  * “I’m just trying to warn you because now that I’m officially taken, the rumors about you two will be ten times worse.”
  * “It’s not a problem, I’ll manage.” It’s actually quite a sore point for Nikolai, that Zoya doesn’t want to admit to their relationship
  * Petya’s quiet for a moment, then pats Nikolai’s shoulder. “Zoya’ll come around. She just needs a little time, that’s all.”
  * Nikolai forces a smile. “Of course.”
  * And although he’s still upset about having to keep his relationship a secret, he can’t help but feel relieved that Zoya is still only his. 




	49. Truth or Dare, Modern AU Zoyalai

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "how about 1 and 7 play truth or dare, which escalates until they're both being ridiculous and reckless. 6 tries to stop them while 11 watches and laughs."

“I dare you to…” Nikolai’s voice trailed off as he surveyed the room. “…mix the last of that bottle of vodka and the first drink you see in the fridge and take a shot.”

Zoya grimaced, but got to her feet. She wasn’t going to lose, not when they’d already gotten this far. Unfortunately, the first thing she saw in the fridge turned out to be soy sauce. Curse Genya for deciding to order sushi last night. 

Ehri looked slightly green. “Pretty sure you’re going to die, Zo. Just throw in the towel, for the sake of your nonexistent health insurance.”

Ignioring her, Zoya ripped the packet open and squeezed it into the vodka bottle. It turned somewhat cola colored, but Zoya practically gagged as she took a sniff.

“Ready to quit?” Nikolai asked with a smirk. He waggled his eyebrows. 

Genya let out a peal of laughter from where she was on the couch cuddling with David. 

Zoya pinched her nose and threw it back. The salty taste had barely registered on her tongue before she swallowed. Coughing, she made her way over to the sink and took several deep mouthfuls of water. Nikolai looked slightly impressed.

After another mouthful of water, she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. “Truth or dare,” she croaked.

“Dare.”

Zoya smirked. She knew exactly what she wanted him to do. “I dare you to kiss me. With tongue.”

Nikolai made a face. “Normally, I’d be delighted to, but-”

“So you’re admitting defeat?” Zoya asked triumphantly. Ehri sighed and walked away, muttering something about how they were idiots made for each other. Zoya barely noticed, smug over her win. 

“I…admit defeat,” Nikolai muttered. Zoya grinned. Then leaned back over the sink as she retched. 


End file.
